New Year... New Beginnings!

Looking back at 2010....

What an interesting and amazing year! Just a few highlights....

~ Rolled my Honda with all of my kiddos and dogs... and we all came out beautifully. Lessons learned.
~ Started last summer homeless... camped... blessed with a house sitting opportunity... now living in a beautiful mountain home with an amazing woman.
~ My oldest started college!
~ Reconnected with my girl, my "soul mate," my best friend.... after 12 years! Spent most of the spring hanging out in her beautiful mountain sanctuary.
~ Dated a little... met some incredible men... had fun with it... got over it. ;)
~ My girls went/going to an amazing Waldorf based, free, school that sits in a mountain house on five acres.... sewing, knitting, doing eurythmy, being super artistic and creative.
~ The kiddos getting the chickenpox.... glad they got it over with!
~ Met some of the most amazing "earth angels" along my journey... grateful for them.
~ My dad retired...
~ My brother found the love of his life.... thank goodness!
~ I found Vedic Astrology!

There is so much more... and I'm grateful for all of it.

2011.... I'm ready for ya! I've put all my hopes and dreams out there and am ready to be more involved in the world... to be helpful and awake in this beautiful time of growth and expansion.

Abundant blessings to all.... time to come together and re-create... higher awareness, compassion for our Mother Earth, and appreciation for all the beautiful beings and energies around us. It's all connected... we're all one.

Love, love, love.... ;)

Just Know...

Just Know...
I was ashamed of the history of my race. At a very young age, I hung my head as I knew what my race had done... rapes, murder, brutality, lies.... slavery.

Just Know...
I do not agree with or condone any of the violence, destruction, or disrespect that has been a part of my race's history.

Just Know...
I have forgiven.

Just Know...
I have not forgotten.

Just Know...
This lifetime, I came into my white skin... last time, I was Indian.

Just Know...
Others may judge us when we're together, based on the color of our skin... let them. We will plant the seed.... we will help them open their hearts and see inside of ours. We set the example. We will unveil the power of real Love.... come share with me.

Just Know...
My Love overflows from within. Love is unconditional... Love knows no color.

Just Know...
I am changing the world with my energy... with my Love.

Just Know...
So can you.



One Love... One Race... xoxo

The Human Race... All is Well.

2011 Leo Moon Horoscope

LEO 2011 HOROSCOPE

2011 Horoscope Report Monthwise Breakup of 2011

Leo 2011 Horoscope - General: 2011 starts on an average note and becomes better as the year advances. You will enjoy a higher positive approach and clarity of thoughts as you enter the month of May 2011. The year starts with your mind in a muddle and pessimistic thoughts floating around. Some of the strategic decisions that you take could prove to be a spoilsport during this time. You will only understand the implications of such wrong decisions after 2nd May 2011 when the results shine out clear and loud. Postpone your important decisions to May 2011 or even beyond that. A strong temptation to make major career moves will prevail as you plan major changes this year. You are, however, suggested to any significant changes as of now. Your luck will shine brightly after 8th May 2011. You will also discover that creative thinking and innovative ideas will bring significant growth and progress. After May 2011, you will tend to be more religious and spiritual. This year you will also travel a lot for mere pleasure. Children will bring constant joy and mirth. Financial matters will experience big outflows and shrinking deposits for dealing with high commitments. You may end-up in some kind of debt as well. The best way to avoid such a situation is to behave in an extremely judicious manner before spending. Any investments made under pressure will turn out to be good. Distances with family are bound to build-up, but 15th November onwards you will experience bright & positive times ahead. There is also a possibility of growth in both personal life and career. Leo Horoscope till early May 2011 - The most challenging part of the year 2011 as your thinking is marred with pessimistic thoughts coupled with difficulties and an insecure outlook. As you face a tough time, you may take some irrational decisions so you are suggested to avoid making any change or taking major decisions till early part of May 2011. Your finances and family life may also pose a challenge. The time period after 26th January 2011, would prove a little difficult. Be careful of what you write or speak as your own words may backfire. Do not make any new commitments involving your finances as your old financial commitments will have to be taken care of and would create some pressure. Important events like a new career move, marriage or new partnerships must be completely avoided. Leo Horoscope from May-15th November 2011 - Be prepared for a major makeover in your life and your outlook. Your thinking pattern and also your confidence will change in a significant manner. You will find an increased clarity in your thoughts and also feel more positive. Luck will also favor you and your confidence rises much higher. All your fiscal issues will mellow down after 12th June 2011 after which you can start new projects with an increased activity. Any travel that you take during this time will give positive results. During this phase you will also feel an upsurge in spirituality. You may lack the support at domestic front and thus would have to take a firm stand for pursuing your thoughts. From 31st August onwards, you will see and get involved in a higher level of activity. You may travel frequently which would bring more opportunities for progress combined with better luck. Even though you experience an upbeat period you may feel tempted to make a major career move on different occasions. This may occur due to your own insecurity, sudden ideas or suggestions from the surrounding people. However lucrative, you must not give up to temptations and continue in a relentless manner not changing your professional course at any cost. You are suggested to remain conservative in your spending habits and other money matters throughout the year. Plan both your family and professional life in a way that beyond 15th November you can enter a higher phase of action and growth. Leo Horoscope from 16th November 2011-31st December 2011: This will be the best part of the year 2011. You will now taste growth and see new horizons opening up for you. Lady luck will continue to favor you with all your new endeavors getting suitably rewarded. All irrational activities will reduce after 25th December 2011, giving way to an improved and organized life style. Dissatisfaction arising from family matters will see a rise as a busy phase of high activity decreases the level of bonding with the family. You must devote more time to your family or else issues may creep in your family life in the future. General Comments for Leo Horoscope 2011: Self-confidence, joy & general success will be high from 15th January 2011-14th February 2011, 15th May 2011-16th July 2011 & 16th October 2011-15th November 2011. you will find excellent opportunities from13th June 2011-25th July 2011. You must control your speech and any kind of verbal aggression towards family and friends from 31st March-23rd April, 3rd August-26th August and 25th November-13th December. During these periods the financial liquidity will also be affected and so any commitment has to be made carefully. Leo January Horoscope: Mind could be over active and some amount of ego could run your thought patterns till the 15th January 2011. Issues with children could crop up too. Beyond 16th January 2011, you will find a rise in energy in work environment. You will find support from superiors and some rise in dynamism which could help you progress faster. Leo February Horoscope: Hard work and support from people in authority will help you make good progress in work till the 16th February 2011. It is a positive period in love life and relationships too. Beyond 17th February 2011, you could experience a higher level of hurdles and possibility opposition to ideas and relationships. If married, ego with spouse could erupt. New partnerships could come up. Leo March Horoscope: Some concerns may surface with partners/ in marital matters till 15th March, 2011. Be careful about fever etc. Your health and stamina may see a fall after 16th March, 2011. Obstacles could also rise in routine matters during this time. Exhaustion & increased fatigue may be observed. Leo April Horoscope: You may experience a poor stamina this month. Overall, some amount of challenges would also prevail. Your work may witness a slowdown till 16th April, 2011. You better postpone important tasks after 17th April, 2011 or until next month. Luck may improve and you may experience an overall growth. There is a probability of a travel. Leo May Horoscope: Spirituality and creative work would form your outlook this month. You will find yourself lucky till 13th May, 2011. Your career will get a boost based on your labor and innovative ideas from 14th May, 2011. People holding power at workplace and government authorities would extend a supporting hand. All the children-related issues will look positive and investments would also flourish. Leo June Horoscope: This month your career progresses well and you will feel an increased liveliness in your career. You will enjoy an authoritative position until 13th June, 2011. Finances take a leap after 14th June, 2011. Now you will lead a happy social life and there is a possibility of an extremely positive reunion with friends. Be prepared for a likely family celebration after 15th June, 2011. Leo July Horoscope: A Gainful period in monetary terms, while your social life will also brim with activity till 6th July, 2011. An overall dip in health and stamina can be felt after 17th July, 2011. There are chances of useless expenses, which may possibly be accompanied with some losses as well. Maintaining a lower than usual level in terms of activity would prove beneficial. Leo August Horoscope: August begins with low activity and a little pressure and sluggishness which are likely to persist till 14th August, 2011. You burst back into activity with an improved outlook from 15th August, 2011. Be cautious about being egoistic or getting over aggressive. You will become familiar with your leadership abilities now. Leo September Horoscope: Both hard work and your anger would remain high. Your thoughts and attitude will be marred with ego. However, ego-related issues would not surface and remain in your sub conscious till 15th September, 2011. From 16th September, 2011 onwards, your Ego may become apparent in your speech. Finances will remain healthy and may prevail on your mind in the second half of the month. Family matters would also remain in your focus. Leo October Horoscope: Creative work will fetch financial growth till 15th October, 2011. You are suggested to be modest in your speech and communications for this month. From 16th October, 2011 onwards you see a rise in position and growth owing to your dynamic attitude combined with networking skills. Overall, October seems to be a growth oriented period for you. There is a possibility of travel. Leo November Horoscope: You experience an optimistic period till 16th November, 2011. During this phase you will taste growth and an increase in repute. You also experience higher energy levels & creative ability. From 17th November, 2011 onwards you could feel a gradual distance from your family & relatives. There may arise some changes in property and domestic matters. If you remain positive, you will have abundant energy to sort out matters. Leo December Horoscope: Active period in work as well as domestic matters till the 16th December 2011. Some amount of resentment could build up against family members during this time. Avoid conflict. 17th December 2011 onwards, creative energies would be high and you will remain more self centered than usual. Children related matters could remain strained now. You could request a further report based on your exclusive birth chart for a detailed run down on career, finance, love/marriage, family & health and month wise breakup of results for 2011. Heartiest wishes for a wonderful year in 2011.

A Challenging Day

Whew.... what a day. Today is Thursday and like every Thursday, the boys and I went "Coffee Shop Shopping." That's where we pick up groceries for the local coffee shop.

We went to King Soopers and Costco.... whoa. What a trip! I should've gone at midnight. It was nuts..... people were on a mission! The boys and I are used to chillin' in the stores. I'm not one to rush and it makes for a better experience if we all just kinda chill as we shop.

Well, others didn't feel so "chill." We felt as if we were in the middle of rush hour people traffic! I wasn't prepared for that as we entered and shopped at the first stop.... King Soopers. But, just know, I was more than prepared for Costco!

The boys and I pretended we were in bubbles and nobody else was around. We still made an effort to be respectful and use our manners, but we had to really concentrate on just us. We had to skip the usual samples that Costco has for us as it would have included standing in long lines! The boys were cool with that.... they weren't big fans of the huge amount of energy in the store.

We really took our time and looked around as others were frantically shopping and getting every ingredient/present/etc. for the holidays.

I noticed most men, in particular, were just not smiling as much as usual.... they were trailing behind their wives, just trying to keep up.

Then you had some couples who were "tag teaming." That was beautiful... you get this item, and I'll head over here and grab that one.... we'll meet here!

Just amazing to people watch and not so much fun trying to shop. The boys usually help me get items off the shelves, but today... mmmm, not-so-much.

A learning experience for all of us. Also a great time to spread smiles and peace as we focused on just being present.

Exhale... a nice hot bath... mmmmm....

Abe's Quote Of The Day... So Incredible

You can be fully satisfied with where you are, understanding that you're
eternally evolving. When you get into that place of feeling appreciation
of where you are and of who you are, and appreciation of what you are, and
you accept that you are a never-ending, always unfolding Being, then you
can stand in that delicate balance of being optimistic about what is to
come, without being unhappy about where you stand.
Find a way of eagerly anticipating future changes, while at the same time
you are in love and satisfied with who, what, where and how you be.

--- Abraham



All Is Well

Universe.... Oh, Universe... I'm Ready... ;)

It has been beautiful the way the Universe has responded to my "request" for more "me" time... so grateful.

Time to breathe, time to laugh, time to dance, time to give, time to do whatever makes me re-center and shine even brighter.

Now, Universe, I'm ready...

~ to continue with my "me" time
~to continue with the beautiful balance of being a productive, loving, compassionate, patient, attentive and strong mother (to provide emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and all other "ally's" I forgot to mention ;)
~ to continue growing as a person (including education and certification in Vedic Astrology, Massage Therapy, Belly Dancing, ;) Life Coaching, Ayurvedic Medicine, and Yoga with room to add! ;)
~to continue to attract opportunities to serve, help, inspire, and love others
~to continue to keep an open, welcoming space for the beautiful man that will step into this blessed family (Hmmm... okay maybe I don't want to continue to keep it open... how about fill it with the "right" man soon.... please and thank you... ;)
~to be able to financially support my family and have extra to share with the world
~to take my beautiful crew on amazing adventures, traveling to near and far away lands, where we can contribute to and learn from
~to own my one, incredible mountain home... where I can create a lovely space and sanctuary for my family... where we can welcome others for periods of time... they can come heal, eat, enjoy, pray, love and breathe
~to continue to be a part of the "global awakening" and to be a vessel to assist the "change" that is needed and in motion

And, Universe..... please allow this to appear and unfold easily. Help me to pay attention and take action accordingly as these opportunities present themselves.... keep my mind clear, my heart open, and myself grounded.

Thanks for listening and always coming through for me... I know I can always and forever count on "You." Love You.

Love Languages

Service
Gifting
Sharing
Time
Sex
Attention
Patience
Support
Forgiveness
Non-Judgment
Understanding
Mercy
Compassion

Hmmmm.... I'm sure there are more. ;) I'll have to add as I go.

Important Long Term Influences (My Horoscope)

Less Noise	***
Valid during many months: This is a time of profound but creative change in your life. You will go below the superficial aspects of life to encounter dimensions of living that you never knew existed. And these discoveries will change your life and enable you to live more richly and fully, if you take full advantage of what you learn and do not turn away in fear, for there is no reason to. The new insights you gain will also bring you the ability to use talents and ingenuity that you may not have known you had. You will be able to make creative changes in your environment as well as within yourself. This is a favorable time to embark upon any new study, but particularly one that reveals hidden aspects of the universe in a startling, exciting manner. It is a favorable influence for the study of a technical discipline, science, astrology or other branches of the occult, particularly if the discipline is revolutionizing society in some way, as computer technology is now. If you are inclined toward social reform, this influence may signify that you will join a group or organized movement for that purpose on a large scale. Civil rights organizations and politically moderate as well as more radical reform groups fit this category. And because of the energy of this influence you are concerned with effective reform and change, not merely with making a lot of noise. This is also a favorable period for doing any kind of psychological work, if you feel that it is desirable. You will be able to accomplish much along these lines at this time, and the process will have a permanent effect upon your life.
Transit selected for today (by user): Pluto Sextile Uranus, , activity period from beginning of January 2010 until beginning of November 2011 Crab walk *** Valid during many months: During this time, your opportunities for growth and expansion in life are limited. You may feel that you are moving sideways, if not actually going in reverse. There may be financial problems, especially if you have overextended yourself in the recent past. Another effect of this influence is restlessness and impatience with restrictions imposed upon you. This period requires patience, but unfortunately yours seems to be almost exhausted. This is a period of readjustment after a period of possibly too-rapid expansion. Certainly it is necessary to examine your recent past to make sure that you have acted according to what you really want to do and really ought to do. This influence can have the effect of getting you back into a path that you have wandered away from. Do not be discouraged by any recent setbacks. Quite likely they were for the best, as you will probably see in a little while. Make things more secure and more stable, but do not start any new projects now. If your expectations are overly optimistic, you may be disappointed, but at least the reasons will become clear. You will see what aspect of reality has interfered with your ideals, and in the future you will be able to take this into account. Also at this time personal relationships may go through a period of trial. You often feel as if your personal freedom is unduly limited by others. Separations sometimes come about because you feel that that is the only way to achieve freedom. And, in fact, you are usually better off after a separation that occurs during this time. This is a time of cutting back and finding a more stable form for your life. It is not a time of growth and expansion. In fact, too much expansion in the past may be the reason for what is happening now. In the future you will have to make plans on a more solid basis so that changes in your life and pressure from circumstances and people cannot interfere so much. This influence is a useful, if not always pleasant, encounter with reality. Transit selected for today (by user): Saturn Opposition Jupiter, , activity period from end of November 2010 until beginning of September 2011 A dominant personality * Valid during several weeks: This should be a time of great activity in your life, when you work very hard to further your own interests and assert yourself among others. You have the chance to show the world what you can do now. You come on to others with much more vigor than usual, and you are likely to make a great impression upon them at this time. During this time, your personality is much more dominant than usual, but you aren't interested in having great power over others, as long as they don't try to dominate you. You are perfectly happy as long as you are completely free to do whatever you want and to have your individuality acknowledged by others in whatever you do. Your physical energy level is quite high, and you should be able to do a lot of work. Transit selected for today (by user): Mars in the 1st House, 1, activity period from middle of November 2010 until beginning of January 2011

The Guys At Enterprise

I've been on a car journey this year! It started in February when I rolled my Honda Pilot in the canyon during an incredible spring storm.

After my Pilot, I had a rental truck for about a month... then ended up with a Ford Econoline 12-passenger Van. I used that last summer for hauling and transporting items for different folks and businesses. I never had a TON of work, but always enough to keep the family going.

I was driving the van around in September of this year with some serious issues... mostly with the brakes. Thank goodness it was summer! I was driving up and down the canyon and would hear (and feel) this awful sound coming from the front of the van by the tires. It was dangerous to say the least! Although I would always down shift on the way down the canyon, it was critical that I went down to the lowest gear I had, to make it down the canyon safely. I had enough and finally took all the money I had, which was about $100 and took the van into the shop to get the brakes looked at.... I was hoping to get them fixed.

The mechanics checked it out.... not good. One of the men that checked it out took me into the garage and showed me the brakes. He said they weren't "normal" car brakes. They were on the 1-ton van and were "heavy duty." So the brakes were all connected to a "hub" and they were going to cost $700 just to replace the front ones! He said they were metal on metal at this point and he wouldn't advise driving it anymore. He said it was really dangerous to have it on the road.

So, when I get angry, it's usually productive. ;)

I thanked the nice man and decided that day was the day I would take the van to be traded. That was my only option and it was going to be winter soon anyway... the van was rear wheel drive. That wasn't going to work in the snow.

I loaded all of the kiddos into the van with some snacks and things to do. We took the van to a vacuum and I got to work cleaning it out. I was going to get another vehicle.... whatever it took to get that accomplished. It was on... ;)

The kiddos and I drove the van to dealership after dealership. Nobody wanted a 12-passenger van.... and everyone told me I would not be able to trade it in for anything. I didn't want anything more expensive than the worth of the van. I wanted a vehicle that would fit my crew in the same price range as the van.... around $5500-6000. We stopped at around a dozen dealerships or more, until we came to Enterprise Car Sales in Englewood, CO! Ya know I live in the mountains, right? Well, Englewood isn't close... ;)

The kids were troopers! What an amazing group of souls.... just love 'em.

I pulled up to Enterprise, parked the van to the side with the kiddos in it, took a deep breath, and started to walk to the front door. I met Dan, the car salesman, about half way there. He walked up with a genuine smile on his face.

I told him what I had, what I was looking for and what my day had been like. He was so responsive and genuinely wanted to help. I unloaded the crew and we got down to business.

There was one car on the lot that was in my range, that would fit my crew, that he could work out some type of deal with. It was a Mercury Sable wagon... with flip out backseats! So it fits 7, it's in the $6000 range, and he would take the van! Yay!

To make a long story short, I was going to pay an additional $700 that they were going to "float" me over the next 7 months. I could pay $100 a month and sign the van over to them. Saweet! And the car had a one year warranty on major parts/labor. Done deal... even though I had NO idea how I'd come up with the $100 a month. It was just going to work out.

Well.... not so fast!

The car ended up having serious electrical issues and some type of fuel pump issue.... both of which are still present. But, oh well.... I can live with that. Not so dangerous and sometimes the crew and I just have to sit it out for an hour or so, until the fuel line kicks in.

Good news! They finally asked me to stop bringing the car back for repairs, just accept it AS IS, and they would not charge me the additional $700. I agreed.

So, today was yet another surgery on my legs and I happened to be in the area of Enterprise Car Sales. After my outpatient surgery, I headed over to see the guys and hand them the van's updated title (had to get a new title for the van as the old one was from Arkansas). They gave me the title work for my car and I gave them the title work for their van. ;)

It was such a great reunion! It was great to see the guys and Steve gave me a free emissions voucher to help me get tags on the car. They always ask about the crew and how things are going. Steve tried to get the guys at Firestone to work with the warranty company on the fuel pump issue, but to no avail. I guess the pump has to go COMPLETELY out before the warranty kicks in.... right now, it's intermittent.

Steve and Dan are the best and I SO appreciate them for helping me and the kiddos get a great deal on a car that at least runs. They are genuine, real, down-to-earth, car salesmen. I have never met such honest guys at a dealership!

They weren't judgmental... just helpful.

So grateful. Yet more "Earth Angels" appearing in my life. Super grateful.

As for my car.... it has character to say the least. ;) It'll work out. Someday I will get the electrical fixed and the fuel pump taken care of. I'm not worried about it...

or maybe I'll just upgrade to an Escalade... black with tan interior... newer model... hybrid... beautiful!!!! ;)

Channel That Energy!

Took my energy and headed to the gym. The kids did their thing in the great on-site daycare. Mom played some great ball and hit the stair master... so nice!

After the gym, we got some gas and stopped by the market. We picked up dinner to go (salads, sandwiches and a tasty beverage) and headed for the book store!

The book store is one of our favorite places to go. I take the kids and we grab different books to explore and end up "camping" out in the kid's section. It's great because the boys all find interesting books to read/look through, there's a great train set for them to play with, I read to the kids and also read a little something for me, the girl's are in heaven with their books.... just a great family outing. Everyone is engaged and loving it. It's great on a cold or snowy day.... and it's free! We don't buy anything, just browse and enjoy. Although we always find something we'd love to have. Tonight I found a kid's book by Obama. It was just lovely.... Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters.

Have I told you lately how wonderful you are?

How the sound of your feet
running from afar
brings dancing rhythms to my day?
How you laugh and
sunshine spills into the room?

Have I told you that you are creative?

A woman named Georgia O'Keeffe
moved to the desert and painted petals, bone, bark.
She helped us see big beauty in what is small:
The hardness of stone and the softness of feather.

Have I told you that you are smart?

That you braid great ideas with imagination?
A man named Albert Einstein
turned pictures in his mind into giant advances in science,
changing the world
with energy and light.

Have I told you that you are brave?

All of this with relationship to outstanding, extraordinary beings that have made a difference... that truly lived.....

Jackie Robinson
Sitting Bull
Billie Holiday
Abraham Lincoln
Cesar Chavez
Neil Armstrong
Dr. Martin Luther King JR.
Jane Addams
Helen Keller
George Washington
Maya Lin

Just perfect and beautiful illustrations as well! Of course... who would expect anything less?

You the man, Obama. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

If they allowed food at the book store, we'd be there all day... ;)

MMMmmmm... Feeling Rebellious Today!

Not sure what's up with it, but I'm feelin' rebellious today... ;)

Got my black leggings, black boots, gray skirt, black shirt with a red and dark grey design, my black scarf and feeling fiesty!

Feels good! I feel strong and motivated. I feel a sense of no limitations and endless energy.

Dearest Universe,

Please give me this strength and freedom feeling daily!

Thank you,
Me

The boys and I had a great day out and about doing some grocery shoppin' and playin' around! As we left Costco, the two youngest boys were in the cart seats (Costco has those amazing carts with spots for two young kiddos) and my older, little man was hanging on with me as we "flew" down the parking lot hill to our car.... what a rush!

So many great people out and about today. People were friendly and loving everywhere we went. I love seeing so many smiles and happy people.

The boys and I jammed out to some Christmas tunes in the stores.... dancing and singing.

So much fun! Love today.

XO

A Millionaire Mind... I Say YES to Success!

I attended an AMAZING seminar last weekend! It was ALL day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It was the Millionaire Mind Intensive in Denver.

I first read The Secrets of The Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Ecker back at the end of 2007. It was at the end of my marriage, but before I knew I was getting a divorce. I found the book at a thrift store, or someone gave it to me... I don't remember. I saw the movie The Secret around the same time.

We lived in a really icky, gross, small house (it had three layers of flooring that had been there for years!) and drove an old car that didn't even fit the family properly. We sat on top of eachother and didn't have enough seatbelts for everyone. We lived right behind a couple of bars, where my ex would visit often. I enjoyed the location because the kiddos and I could walk to the Co-op, the park, the reservoir and the market. It was right in the middle of a beautiful, mountain town.

Needless to say, after reading the book and watching the movie, I placed bright colored sticky notes all over the house. They had affirmations on them, goals and dreams for the family, and everything positive you can imagine.

I ended up leaving my husband about four months later. We weren't on the same path and didn't want the same things for our family. No worries, it is all working out beautifully! ;)

Here it is 2010 and the gentleman that wrote the book, held a seminar here in Denver this last weekend! I was going.... no matter what it took, I was going to be there.

So, Thursday night I packed up the crew and headed to my Dad's house. He lives about five minutes from where the seminar was being held. My dad didn't know about the seminar until that evening when I told him I wanted to go.

The kids had just gotten over chicken pox, my three-year-old had a cold, and Tiana ended up puking that night. I had a feeling it would just be a quick virus or she ate something that upset her tummy. At this point, I gave it to the universe... I decided that if I was meant to go to the seminar, everyone would sleep well and we'd get up and go. If anyone was up during the night, due to illness, we probably wouldn't make it.

The kids slept well, and I woke them up at 6:30a.m. We all got dressed, got our "to-do" bags, packed the cooler with food, and headed to the seminar. Yep, ALL of us. ;)

I didn't know if they would allow kids (especially 5!) into the seminar, or if they'd send us away. My thought was, the worse that could happen is they would say NO and we'd leave.

The best that could have happened, DID happen! They welcomed us with open arms. The event staff was amazing! They let me attend for free and allowed the kids to be there. They were so supportive and helpful. One of the guys made the kids their own name tags and interacted with them often. The whole staff was very attentive and loving towards me and my crew. I am/was soooo grateful.

The kids were with me part of the time and the other part of the time it worked out that they stayed at my dad's house. I don't usually have my dad watch my kids, but it really worked out beautifully. My dad was great and my kids were great! And I completed the seminar!

Whatever it takes....

I learned so much and took so many steps towards releasing negative blocks about money! I learned that I have/HAD a lack of respect for money. There were some therapeutic exercises that allowed me to dig deep and pull up and out negative emotions... and then release them!

Not only did it have to do with money, it was related to my parents, my ex and just icky, stuck emotions and ideas I was holding onto. What a healing weekend! I had no idea I even had any of those negative emotions inside of me. I feel lighter.

So, Friday I also had surgery on my left leg at 2pm in the afternoon. I had to leave the seminar and head to meet my dad (he took the kids), then I went back to the seminar around 5pm. It was an outpatient, laser surgery for varicose veins.... they went in with a catheter and then slid the laser into the catheter and "zapped" the veins.

Ya know, I have a respect for Western Medicine that I didn't have prior to this series of surgeries on my vein system.

I had surgery on my pelvis about three to four weeks ago for the same thing, just in my pelvis. No laser that time, they coiled the broken veins. They went in through my neck with a catheter and traveled down to my pelvis with tools and a tiny camera. There were five, big flat screens that the doctor watched as she did this procedure. AMAZING! I walked out of the surgery, went to dinner with my dad (Pho!) and drove home that night, resuming my daily mother activities the following day. They wrote me two prescriptions, one intense IBProfen, the other a narcotic.... I didn't fill either one and ended up ripping them and throwing them in the trash. I didn't need them. I felt good.

I have one more surgery scheduled for the 13th of December on my right leg. The veins aren't bad, just need fixed so they don't get worse. They are a result of having so many babies. Since I'm done having babies, this is the perfect time and procedure for me. I am grateful for Western Medicine... it has it's place.

Anyway, Friday about 1/2 hour after I returned to the seminar, the speaker asked for five future millionaires to step up to the stage... I happened to be right there and ended up being one of the volunteers! I was unaware we were playing "Follow The Leader." This is where, one at a time, we got on stage and danced.... whatever we did, the audience (hundreds of people) repeated our dance moves! Seeing how we were all in tight quarters in the audience, it was really the top half of our bodies dancing. How fun that was and really profound. Whatever I did, hundreds of people were doing.... wow, what a rush. I then got off stage and remembered I just had surgery! So, right out of surgery, I'm on stage DANCING! Ouch.... thank goodness others carry IBProfen. I haven't had that in years, but had to take it. I felt so much better and finished the night with no problems.

What a weekend. I had a blast, learned a lot, met a BUNCH of beautiful people, did some networking, released some negative "stuff" and really grew as a person.

I am now implementing the money management system I learned, creating passive income vessels, and working towards my goal of financial freedom.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. XO

A Personal Portrait

Here is a personal vedic astrology reading.... definitely resonates with me. ;) I had ran a report before, but the dates were incorrect... so my Sun and Ascendant are Sagittarius and my Moon in Leo. (No Scorpio anywhere to be found.)

Sun in Sagittarius, Moon in Leo
Your astrological positions confer upon you a splendid combination. You have a gift for perceiving complex ideas as one concept, for reducing multiple problems to one workable unity. You exude power and energy and are warmed by the attention and admiration of others. Either your passionate or spiritual side will be awakened, lending you the ability to foresee the future. Your affections are boundless, and your heart can go out to many without diffusing your emotions. You are magnanimous and loyal. In whatever area you rest your interest, you will assume a position of leadership. You have a love of luxury and pleasures, leaning at times to self-indulgence. The key to a more harmonious self lies in subduing your imagination and allowing more practical tendencies to flow through your personality.

Ascendant in Sagittarius, Jupiter in the Fourth House At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Sagittarius was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Jupiter is located in the fourth house. Sagittarius rising denotes lives which are very dualistic; situations come and go as if divided into two sides - success and failure. If you are able to raise the interests of your mind from common and trivial things to more profound subjects, your intellect will become very philosophical and attracted by law and peace, and it will be more intuitive than rational. In any case your life will be colored by impulsive and rather stubborn tendencies on your part, creating some inclination to go to extremes. During the course of your existence you must try to develop intuition and human understanding so that you may be in a position to assist other people with your advice. Sagittarius gives you a rather strong love of nature and makes you somewhat extroverted, demonstrative and passionate, falling in love frequently and without reservations. You are an intellectual, an intelligent person who has been fortunate enough to be granted also a good development of the emotional functions. Your romantic life will be intense and varied. Your object of love may find you difficult to understand. In one aspect you will appear as passionate and energetic but because of the mutability of the sign you will also have an opposite tendency that will lead you away from involvement in the love affair and the latter impulse will be caused by a more inner trait, which is personal freedom. Generally speaking, the sign of Sagittarius will incline you to exist in environments in which your physical body, emotions and thoughts are allowed total freedom for development. On a higher intellectual level you may find yourself inclined to dwell in the deep complexities of philosophy, metaphysics, religion and law. You are versatile enough to study more than one discipline simultaneously not forgetting to keep your body in physical movement, since you require both intellectual and physical exercise. The main trends of your life will be oriented, in one way or another, to derive satisfaction from intimate and family environments. This is also indicative of persons who are born with certain inherited privileges. This is a very favorable position for all matters related to inheritance, both financial and biological. Your home should be a happy one, in which interfamily relationships are strikingly favorable and in which there is peace and a harmonious home atmosphere.

Neptune Conjunct Ascendant The conjunction of Neptune to the Ascendant shows that you are very sensitive and perhaps psychic. Your grip on the real world is loose; you need to grasp it more firmly. You are so physically sensitive to the injustices you observe in society that they can easily make you ill. Because your environment has such a powerful effect, you should try to make some contribution to relieve your anxieties about allowing these negative conditions to exist. You are sympathetic toward the oppressed, understanding of the emotionally disturbed, and forgiving to those who seem guiltless in their transgressions against society. You easily become distraught over conditions you are powerless to do anything about, and your feelings of guilt and failure can make you withdraw into a world that is safe from responsibility. You should associate with people who have their feet on the ground to compensate for your aimless wandering temperament. There is a great need for your sympathetic understanding, and you do not have the right to turn down anyone who extends a hand for help.

Saturn in the Eighth House Saturn was found in the eighth house at the time of birth. Because of the restraining influence of this planet, matters concerning legacies, inheritance, and the financial dealings of your partner or associates could be severely limited and may be frustrated by what seems to be harsh fate. Psychologically you are rather serious in connection with sexual affairs. You approach sex with caution, rationality and planning. Excess reason and thought in this direction may create some frustration in sexual matters.

Moon in the Ninth House The Moon was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. Your higher mind has the potential to expertly reflect the teachings of elevated knowledge that you may receive throughout your life. You will have an ability to quickly adjust to varying conditions. You are endowed with a clever and resourceful imagination, and a mind which is receptive to ideals, higher thoughts, and perhaps even metaphysical matters. Throughout life you are going to solve many critical situations by your ingenious and highly inventive mind which has an abundance of new and humane plans and ideas.

Venus in the Tenth House Venus was found in the tenth house at the time of birth. You will appear as a person who seeks harmony, inclined as you are to observe the aesthetic value of all things in life, to engage in artistic activities and to possess all that is lovely and beautiful. You have sufficient potential to achieve success in life, especially if your occupation is artistic or musical. Much of your success is a consequence of applied interest and hard work; you posses merit and ability, and your congenial, intelligent manner produces a very exalted image. In any case, there are very good possibilities for the acquisition of some social distinction, a good reputation and financial success at some period of your life.

Sun in the Twelfth House The Sun was in your twelfth house at the time of birth. This may indicate a life full of limitations, obstacles, and human opposition, but at the same time a lot of inner strength and energy. You are urged to pause and reflect upon your own accumulated history. Take some time for introspection. It may result in a purification process accompanied by some remorse of conscience. Internally, you are quite different from the way you present yourself externally. You possess a vast reservoir of energy that may be partially hidden even from your own awareness. Your internal disposition is strong, commanding, open, and of a rare generosity. More and more you should try to bring these characteristics into the open so that they can overcome some of the less desirable aspects of your personality.

Sun Conjunct Ascendant The Sun conjunct the Ascendant shows that you have a great desire for recognition and are creative in finding ways to gain attention. In general you are uncompromising. You have great faith in your ability to rise above any of life's negative circumstances. You know how to use your vast creative resources in a direct assault against any adversary, and you believe that eventually you will succeed. Most often you do, but when challenged by stiff competition you will resort to brute force to demonstrate that you do not give in without a fight. You know how to win friends and influence people, and you use this talent effectively. To be truly comfortable in your profession, you need to have a position of some authority over others.

Clairsentient... Empath

So, I am checkin' my email the other night and received an email from a psychic/clairvoyant that I had a free report from about a month ago. She gave me a sample report and of course sends me updates periodically hoping I will pay for a full report.

I noticed the word "clairvoyant" and decided to google it. I just wanted to learn more behind the meaning of it.

Clairvoyance and Clairaudience are readily understood and accepted terms of reference for the abilities to "See" and "Hear" in a metaphysical sense. The word "sentient" literally means "feeling" with dictionary reference stating(sen-tee-ent) adj. capable of feeling - sentience.

Clairsentience, is the ability to feel the emotions of other people. While it's not to be confused with empathy but to some degree both Empathic and Clairsentient Beings have the ability to become a vehicle or dumping ground for unwanted emotions belonging to other people.

An intuitive empath, is a special individual who has advanced powers of emotional, mental, spiritual and overall energetic sensitivity. Empaths are highly intuitive which means they tend to do things by feeling, by sensing, by reacting to queues, and by following "hunches, gut-feelings," etc. AKA, "highly sensitive and/or emotional" beings.

I have always had people in my life that have felt comfortable enough to tell me their problems, issues and/or hopes and dreams. I've always enjoyed sharing inspiration and positive words. Just thinking that is normal... doesn't everyone share with everyone?

Since I was little, I have been able to "feel" other people.... their true feelings show right through their surface. If someone is telling a lie... I know, I feel it. If someone is hurting, or their spirit is "broken," I can feel their pain. When someone is angry, I all of the sudden feel angry.... the same with sadness, hopelessness, and every emotion. This is where the disconnect has come into play and has been useful.

I can even feel the future at times. I have felt when someone is going to get pregnant, or break up with their partner.... even without "knowing" or being told they were having issues.

At times, I can also feel other's physical pain. If I am around someone who is ill, feeling lethargic, having a cramp, or pain in an organ, etc..... I can feel it! I feel the same pain in my body. I believe it also happens when I'm not around someone.... I can be far away and feel their pain. I thought I was crazy. It happened once, I didn't think much of it. It continues to happen... I've just been ignoring it, not knowing how to process it.

Sometimes I just "know." It's hard for me to express that to others without sounding egotistical. And sometimes I am wrong.... if my emotions run high and I'm not paying attention, I can be wrong.

As a child, I learned to disconnect. I can completely disconnect from someone and/or a situation. I can walk away from a friend, boyfriend, family member, stranger, any situation and not take any negative emotions or feelings with me, not all of the time, but most of the time. I can really just let it go and disconnect. I have used that throughout my life as a defense mechanism. I thought it was related to moving all of the time and not getting attached to anyone because I knew they wouldn't be around long.... maybe that was part of it? I just thought it was some emotional thing I was supposed to work on and "fix."

I remember watching my mother purposely hit her head against a brick wall in agony over her boyfriend. I must have been around 10. My mother was/is a pharmaceutical addict. As I walked onto the porch, I remember saying, "Mama, I am going to take JoJo for a walk." JoJo was my Shihtzu... my dog. I didn't look at her for more than a second as I spoke and walked past. I left and spent the day walking my dog around. I don't remember any negative emotions... just that I had to leave her to herself.

Now, I don't remember the majority of my childhood... just random moments. I don't remember anything before the age of 7. I thought that was normal, too. I didn't think anyone really remembered much of their childhood.... until I was older and found many friends and family members that could remember most of their childhood. Wow, what is wrong with me? Why can I not remember?

After reading more on the Clairsentient and Empath Being, I realize "disconnecting" was a super healthy thing for me to do. That way I wasn't bearing the burdens of those around me... that was my self preservation technique.

I didn't disconnect ALL the time. I don't know what made me do that sometimes and not others?

I remember being at work when Tiana was one.... 10 years ago. I had heard through co-workers about a little girl (nobody I knew) who had meningitis and was in intensive care. I think she was 7. I immediately started crying and couldn't sleep for days. I would just cry uncontrollably and could feel this girl's pain. I remember talking to a mentor of mine and trying to understand why I was so upset. About three days later, I was calm again. I don't know the outcome of this little girl's illness, but there was a feeling of peace within me.

It's nice to be comforted by the thought of these feelings and emotions being a gift. I want to learn more and find out how to channel this into a healthy, beneficial mode of healing.... for myself and others.

Kundalini, spiritual awakening..... this is all tied in together. Loving the feeling of "waking" up. Feeling so blessed.

Day 8 and New Direction

Today is day 8 of the Master Cleanse. I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine and we decided I am going to start weening from my fast. I am going to start a parasite cleanse and colon cleanse as I ween off my fast.

It has been an amazing experience so far and I'm looking forward to the parasite and colon cleansing. The hardest part has been cooking for and keeping up with the kiddos!

My two girls (11 and 9) have the chicken pox, my three-year-old is always a bundle of energy, of course there's the baby and just the normal mama "stuff" is calling me to have more energy and get back to business as usual... not that I took time off, but it took more out of me for sure.

I do plan on doing another fast in about six months or so. I really see and feel the benefits!

Fasting - Day 6

Wow... this fast is becoming a beautiful life transition for me. It has shown me yet more life lessons to grow and learn from.
Yesterday was my "hardest" day so far. Day 5.... I was a little irritable and very tempted to eat! I made some yummy buffalo tacos for the kids last night... fresh lettuce, tomato, guac, salsa, black beans, refried beans, brown rice, tortillas.... mmmmm.
My Jayden was telling me I should eat... "You "deserve" to eat, Mama." She is concerned for me, sweet girl. I reinforced how great this fast is for me and what it does for me. It is put into incredible words by Yuri...

We detoxify and cleanse for health,
vitality, and rejuvenation.

We cleanse our body to clear symptoms,
treat disease, and prevent future problems.

A cleansing program is an ideal way to
help you re-evaluate your life, make changes,
or clear abuses and addictions.

We also detoxify and cleanse to rest and heal
our overloaded digestive organs. This is often
an overlooked, yet very important, area
considering optimal health truly begins
with the health of our digestive system.

Aside from the internal health benefits,
detoxification can also be a great catalyst
for external change. For instance, it can
provide a great opportunity to reflect and
re-evaluate what' is most important to you.
It can serve to help you cleanse your house,
your work, your relationships. After a cleanse,
you will even feel more organized, more creative,
more motivated, more productive, more relaxed,
and more mentally focused and clear.

So, if you want more energy, greater vitality,
more youthful and radiant skin, and greater
health for life, then cleansing should be a
regular (annual or semi-annual) part of your life.

Re-evaluating and making changes for sure!
I have been used to saying, "I want "that" so I am going to have it... and have it now. Why should I have to wait for it?"

This fast is opening my eyes to having to "wait." I'm not sure I can explain it...

Here are some things that have come up so far...
I have thought more about money and the way it relates to this fast. I can now see it's okay not to have something off the shelf, or a latte, right now. I can now see more clearly the idea behind saving and investing and working my way up to being "free" to spend.... and not just on me. I want to be wealthy so I can help others, share and have more of an impact on this world around me.
Somehow, cooking has become more of a love of mine than a chore. Seeing how I am choosing not to eat, not sure how this came about! Not being with my ex these last two years has helped tremendously, also. I remember feeling like I had to cook to make his day. But, there has been something with this fast that is making me see and feel cooking in a whole new light. Now I'm loving it! Every ingredient, every topping and spice, mmmmmm.... just loving it.
Also waiting for my love... just waiting. I was getting a bit impatient and cravings have been out of control! Now feeling more like I can do it... I can wait. Not having expectations, not knowing the outcome, but waiting for whatever it is. It's very similar to this fast. No matter the outcome, it's going to be worthwhile and amazing! Maybe we need this space to grow a little more before coming together. I for sure do!

Thanks, again, Universe.... I am so grateful.
Day 6 and still counting... ;)

Fasting - Day 3

So far, so good! I've definitely been more irritable, mostly with the kiddos... trying to keep that under control. All-in-all, I'm doing great. The salt water is the worst part! The best part is the feeling of empowerment. I am tempted by the beautiful breakfast/lunches/dinners I cook for the kids, but there is no way I'm even taking one bite! Not even a bite to taste as I cook... hope it's good! No complaints so far. ;)
One day at a time! I've been told and have read that I will have more strength and be less irritable after day 4... looking forward to that.

I Started My Fast!

Yesterday was the first day of my fifteen days of fasting. I am doing the Master Cleanse.... also known as the Lemonade Diet.

Salt water flush in the morning.... yuck. Yuck going down and yuck about 30 minutes later. ;)

Fresh lemons, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper in water.... all day long.

At night, some bentonite clay and psyllium husk to grab all the toxins and send them on their way.

It's interesting because of the mama factor. I'm still cooking for the kiddos all day. Last night, I made a bird, some yams and broccoli. I think yams are one of my favorite foods! It smelled and looked amazing... that's okay. I can hang. I just keep repeating to myself that I will be eating all of this yummy food again in a short while.

I broke the habit of finishing up their plates. It took me a bit, but I got it down. Now we just have some great leftovers for them.

This morning for the kiddos... french toast and maple chicken sausage. For me, salt water....

I'm so looking forward to this experience. It feels good everytime I make the choice to pass on all of the food around me. It is some kind of high.... not sure I can fully explain it yet.

The kids are in on it and have had interesting responses. Yesterday, Tiana (11) said she was thinking about me all day... she also said she was proud of me. When they are eating, the younger ones will offer me food and my older ones remind them that I am fasting. This is looking like a great experience for the whole crew.

My Births...

I have so enjoyed every pregnancy. I loved the way my body changed. Being pregnant was so sensual and beautiful. My body was made to make babies.... ;)

I've carried and birthed seven babies.

My first, Shaylee, was born in 1992. I was sixteen and gained 75lbs. I loved the Sausage McMuffin with Egg sandwich from McDonald's and white chocolate Baskin Robbin's shakes.... mmmmm. I didn't know much about pregnancy, nutrition or birth. My mother didn't know much about pregnancy, nutrition or birth. I didn't know I could question Western Medicine and I wasn't aware I had choices.
Labor and delivery took 24 1/2 hours. The nurses "checked" me multiple times (super uncomfortable... I remember feeling violated). They hooked me up to all kinds of machines.... automatic blood pressure machine, baby monitors, pulse monitor, etc. They had me laying in the bed.... turning this way, moving me that way. They gave me drugs... petocin to "help" my labor, an epidural and other numbing and relaxing drugs.
When Shay was born, they immediately cut the umbilical cord, did all of the tests, gave her all of her shots, etc. They took her immediately down the hall, away from me, and bathed her.
I remember really wanting to nurse her (without really knowing why I felt that way), but being handed a TON of free formula. The nurses kept saying I should supplement with formula because she wouldn't get enough from my breasts. I ended up nursing her for ten days and then gave into the formula.

My second birth was a "miscarriage." I've never really appreciated or liked that word... "miscarriage." It's always felt as if I was inadequate in some way and wasn't able to give this baby life. I'm okay with it all now and realize there is a much bigger picture.
I was with my ex husband and this was our first pregnancy together. I delivered a little boy in the hospital when I was four months along. Of course, they gave me options after we had an ultrasound and found out the baby's heartbeat was no longer beating. They offered me a DNC (where they would scrape out my uterus), they said I could go home and wait it out, or I could have them induce me with petocin and deliver the baby in the hospital. I wanted to hold my baby and say hello and good-bye, so I chose to deliver him. We named him Dante.

Tiana was born in 1999. She was my third pregnancy. I labored at home as much as possible and then went to the hospital. My water broke at home. They did give me an IV and an epidural in the hospital.... I asked for it. I did eat and drink during the labor (which they don't recommend). The baby was born within two-three hours of our arrival at the hospital.
My Ex was great at taking care of me during my deliveries. He would secretly slip me food, drink and he would disconnect the machines and take them off of me. He stood behind my decisions and helped communicate them to the hospital staff.
After Tiana was born, they weighed her and put antibiotic ointment in her little eyes, gave her the vitamin K shot, and then allowed her to nurse. She did end up in the nursery for a few hours to get warm. I was still learning about birth and what my rights were.
I nursed her for about 5-6 months. I went back to work full time when she was twelve-weeks-old and pumped at work for a bit before it just became too much for me.

My fourth baby was Jayden in 2001. She was born in the same hospital as Tiana, without medication or drugs. I decided I wanted to have this one all natural. I had a different doctor this time and had to argue with her to leave out the IV. We ended up compromising and they put a "cap" in my hand.... an IV that wasn't connected to fluids, but was there "just in case" an emergency happened.
Unfortunately, after I delivered the baby, the doctor put petocin into my IV to help my uterus contract. I wasn't aware of this until I started feeling "weird." They were about to hand Jayden to me and I just felt off. I asked them to wait and looked at my ex for help. The doctor then confessed to hooking me up to the drug.
Looking back at Jayden's birth, it took way to long to get her into my arms after birth. At this point, I didn't know about allowing the placenta to drain before cutting the cord and Jayden did get the vitamin K shot and was weighed at birth.
I nursed Jayden for 2 years. I weened her when I was about half way through my pregnancy with Isaiah.

Isaiah was my fifth pregnancy and birth. I was going to birth him in water in the only hospital in Denver that allowed that. Unfortunately, when I was seven months pregnant, that hospital stopped the water births. I continued with my plan to deliver him in that hospital anyway. At this point, I wasn't really aware of the option to birth at home or just not so sure of it. I did labor at the hospital in the tub, but then was asked to get out when it was time to push. I got out and delivered him on the birthing table. My ex caught him and placed him on my chest. This time we allowed the placenta to drain, no shots, no ointments, no testing, etc. I slept with my baby, comfy and warm.
I nursed Isaiah until he was three.

My sixth birth was Malik and it was amazing! He was born in December of 2006. This time, I decided to have him at our beautiful mountain home, unassisted. That means no prenatal check ups, no doctors involved, and no midwife.... just me, the ex and my crew... and the bathtub. ;) We had an older gentleman, a family friend at the time, there as well.
It had been snowing and we were in Boulder shopping at Vitamin Cottage. I knew I was in labor, so I wanted to go into the small store without the crew. My ex stayed outside and played with the kiddos while I went in to grab a few things. I remember the cashier telling me it looked as if the baby was going to jump out today. I told him he had no idea! I was in labor right now and he would be born tonight. The cashier was a young guy and very kind. He asked if I should be in the hospital right now or if I needed him to call someone. I told him I was on my way home.... up the canyon to Nederland and then ten more minutes outside of Nederland. The drive was a good 40-50 minutes with the snow. I assured him I would be fine and not to worry.
My crew, my ex and I loaded into our old suburban and proceeded up the canyon. Isaiah had to go to the bathroom half way up the canyon, so we pulled over to a restaurant and I walked him in and helped him out. We loaded back up and continued up the windy road. While we were driving up the canyon, my contractions became more intense and everyone would pause as I worked my way through them. Then, action as normal until the next one came. ;)
We stopped at ACE Hardware in Ned to pick up something for the suburban and then went on our way.
The road leading to our home, at the time, was bumpy and all dirt. No worries, we made it. There was snow on the ground, too, that helped cushion the drive.
We had this really steep driveway that we were only able to get up about half the time. The rest of the time, we would have to hike up it. I remember wondering how I was going to hike up the driveway when I was in pretty good labor.
For the first time ever, one of our neighbors was feeling super kind and plowed the driveway! What a blessing. So we drove right up with no problems.
I jumped in the tub and my little Isaiah (3 at the time) jumped right in with me. He wanted to play Rescue Heroes. So in between contractions, we played. During contractions, he would mimic me.... he would make noises and bend over as if he were having a contraction. ;) When he was done playing, he jumped out and went on. He left one of his action figures in the tub and that is what I concentrated on during my labor/delivery. The baby was born about 3-4 hours after we got home... about 9:30pm.
Malik was born in the water. My ex caught him and laid him on my chest. He then helped me out of the tub and we went to the family bed. The kids all gathered around and wanted to hold the newest addition.
When the cord ran clear, Shaylee cut it and tied it up with hemp string. Then, they passed the Malik around.... from one sibling to the next. After they finished holding him, one by one the kiddos fell asleep. It was soooo beautiful.
Four hours had passed and we realized the placenta still had not released. Time flies in moments like that. No worries, I had remembered something I read in an old homebirth book. There was a great, native south american way to release a retained placenta..... get on your knees and blow into something like a beer bottle. It said the placenta would release within a minute.
That's what I did... and that's what happened! We just started laughing and celebrating!
Oh, and this time, I had researched the placenta. What an incredible organ. Most animals ingest the placenta after birth. I wasn't so sure I could eat it, but I wanted it to nourish my body. So my ex, took the placenta and cooked it on a low heat. He then placed it into pills for me to take. I have to say my recovery was even better this time and I give credit to the placenta (and my ex) for that!
What a great, non-invasive, gentle way for birth to happen.
I nursed Malik until he was two.

Keenan was my seventh and last baby. He was born in April of 2009. This pregnancy was very different than my last ones. I was pregnant during and after my divorce. My ex did not father this one. Keenan's father was living on the east coast and wasn't going to be a part of this pregnancy or delivery.... or Keenan's life really.
I was mostly alone with the kids and this pregnancy. My ex and I "dated" for a small amount of time during this pregnancy (which was awkward). My ex would come to my home to watch the kids every other weekend and I would leave and come back on Sunday.... I know, that's kinda awkward, too. ;) It worked for us at the time.
My plan was to birth at home again. I didn't have prenatal visits or check ups and was just going to do this one on my own.
Unfortunately, the weekend I went into labor was a weekend my ex decided to introduce my other children to a woman he had been dating for a week. This was my kiddos first experience with dad having a new girlfriend. They spent every day with her... swimming, eating out, going to the parks. At night, he would take my kids back to my house (without the girlfriend) to sleep. Then, up again and another day with his new girlfriend.
As I was in labor, I remember thinking I wanted to be okay with this. I had to know we were both going to move on and our kids were going to be exposed to other "friends."
I struggled with this throughout the weekend, but said nothing to him and nothing negative to my kiddos.
I lost it on Sunday night when one of my kids told me on the phone that they were spending the night in a hotel with this woman. Ya know, that was a little much. I asked him to spend nights in the hotel with this woman on the weekends he didn't have to watch the kids. He put up a small argument/fight until I advised him to take the kids to my home, where they were comfortable and safe in their own environment, or I would drive to the hotel (in labor) and pick them up. He took them home.
Needless to say, my labor completely stopped. I had been in full, timed, contractions... and it completely stopped. This was new for me. I had never had any emotions like that during labor and I had never experienced my labor stopping.
At that point, I decided my emotional health wasn't going to allow me to safely birth this baby at home.... so I decided to pick a hospital.
Keenan was born three weeks later, in a hospital, in the tub, with the most amazing "random" midwives. Shaylee caught him as I birthed him in the jacuzzi tub. My dad cut his umbilical cord and I gave Keenan the middle name of Stephen, after my father. Shaylee even picked out the name, Keenan.
No tests, no shots, and I signed papers so we could leave the hospital earlier than they wanted to let us go.
Keenan only nursed until he was about 10 months old. He was super hungry and I felt as if I couldn't keep up with him... so I couldn't. I tried everything to increase my milk supply... mother's milk tea, drinking more liquids, praying, etc. Looking back, that time of my life was a huge transition... getting divorced, learning how to be a single mama, learning how to be a pregnant single mama, financial challenges. I'm thinking stress played a role in my milk supply.
So, initially I made my own formula for him from recipes I found on-line and knowledge I had from working in the natural foods industry for 7ish years. Some of the ingredients I remember are spirulina, black strap molasses, propolis, dha, a natural iron, a natural cal-mag, probiotics, hmmmm.... I'm sure there is more, but I don't recall. That worked for a bit, but then I was talked into giving him a commercial formula. I'm just grateful for his health now and back then. He has an allergy to corn... it affects his stomach and his head. It was tricky finding a way to nourish him. He's super healthy now with a beautiful personality!

I so enjoyed my pregnancies and now I am so enjoying being a mother. I love watching my kids, guiding them, interacting with them, and loving them.... I love loving them.

So blessed and have learned so much.... and I just keep learning. ;)

Birth

A good friend of mine and his new wife are about to have a baby! His wife is so super cute... all baby belly. ;)

My friend called me today and said he had a "baby" question. His wife has been advised by her doctor to get the flu and swine flu vaccination. He wanted to know my take on that.

Personally, I would not get vaccinated while I was pregnant. Personally, I would not get vaccinated while I wasn't pregnant. ;) Getting sick with the flu, while pregnant, is usually no big deal.

The swine flu? I have all kinds of other opinions on that.... either way, I think our bodies are amazing at healing from illness in general.

My history with vaccinations are with my kiddos. My oldest, Shay, was vaccinated until the age of seven. She has been, and currently is, my "sickest" kiddo. Tiana was vaccinated until the age of six months. At six months old she had a seizure in relation to vaccines she was given just days before.

The doctor would not admit or validate the two (the seizure and the vaccines) were related. That is when I researched her symptoms and vaccines (general info and side effects). I concluded that they were directly related and canceled her next appointment for vaccinations the day before the appointment. Whew... I felt relieved and felt like that could have saved Tiana from autism or further negative reactions to the drugs.

Since then, I have not vaccinated any of my other children. We go through the flu and now chickenpox knowing we will just be stronger on the flip side of these illnesses.

My friend then wondered if they had to vaccinate their child if they were going to send them to public school. No, you do not HAVE to vaccinate them in order for them to attend school.... at least in Colorado. You may sign a waiver at the school or at the county saying you chose not to vaccinate.

My conversation with my friend continued and we got to talking about the vitamin K shot at birth, the hospital regulations, if he and his wife have the "authority" to say no, the birth of the placenta, taking the baby to bathe her right after delivery, etc.

Again, these are my personal opinions...

When your baby is born, they say the baby needs this vitamin K shot to help clot their blood. They warn that the baby could hemorrhage and die if they don't get this shot.

My opinion - when your baby is born, allow the blood from the placenta to drain completely before cutting the umbilical cord. That blood is essential for the baby. It is full of nutrients that the baby is certainly entitled to and the baby needs. Let the cord run dry. No vitamin K shot needed.

Do you have the right to say no in the hospital?

My opinion - absolutely! This is your baby and your birth experience. You have every right to make choices. I said no.... many times. That doesn't mean the nurses or doctors will like you.... but, you'll probably never see them again anyway. This is an important event in your life... take the reins!

I said no to sitting down during labor/delivery... gravity was my friend.
I said no to keeping the monitor on during labor/delivery.
Nope, I am not okay with this blood pressure thing going off every fifteen minutes.
Nope, you may not "check" me to see how far I am dialated.
No drugs for me, thanks.
Nope, you may not hook me up to an IV.
Nope, you may not take my baby right at birth... put them to my breast, please.
Nope, you may not bathe my baby.... he needs this "white coating" on his skin to protect his body. I will wash him at home... thanks.
Nope, you may not give them the vitamin K shot, or any other shots.
Nope, you cannot put antibiotic ointment in their eyes.
Nope, you may not weigh them right away.... and when you do weigh them, put a blanket down on that oh so cold scale, please.
Nope, don't shine that light in their eyes when they are first born.
The baby will be born into a peaceful room with dimmed lighting and quiet voices.
Nope, I am not getting out of this tub.... I am delivering right here.
Nope, you may not push on my belly until the placenta is delivered... it knows when to come out.
Nope, you may not come in and wake this baby up every hour to check their vitals.
Nope, no hearing test for my baby. I'll know....
Nope, no circumcision for this boy.
You may not take my baby to the nursery. I will sleep with my baby in this bed, thanks... and yes, it is safe.
Nope, I will not supplement her diet with formula.... my breasts will nourish her. There are ways to increase my milk supply, if needed.
Yep, we are leaving the hospital now. I will sign whatever papers necessary to leave "early."
Nope, I am not worried about my baby dieing.... I take full responsibility.

Yes, home birth (I had one) would have been a better option for me, for sure... but you do have super, crazy rights to make choices in the hospital. Just know that!

Go with your gut. If you feel it, go with it. If you fear it, maybe think twice. It's really whatever you believe and feel to be true.

Up all night w/ my feverish babes...

Last night my youngest two, Malik and Keenan, were tossing and turning with fevers. Malik seemed just a little uncomfortable, while Keenan was having a harder time breathing. I grabbed the humidifier, put some eucalyptus in the water, gave them some apple cider vinegar and made sure they both stayed hydrated. I don't mind being up at night with them. It's kinda like our one-on-one time... our special time.

Not that I'm okay with them being sick... I'd rather spend that special time with them feeling healthy, but I don't mind being awake at night with them. Plus, in the end, it only makes them stronger. ;)

Well, today, Malik seemed fine and Keenan was feverish with a "battle" going on in his throat. Keenan and I chilled and snuggled for most of the day. Malik was up playing with his older brother, Isaiah. They had a great day playing different games and working out any problems that came up.

Later this afternoon, Malik came up to me and said, "Mama, I've got mosquito bites on my neck... look!" I took a look and wondered what was bitin' my boy. It's just not mosquito season right now.

Then, early evening rolled around and there were more "mosquito" bites on Malik's back and face.... ahhhh.... chickenpox!

Yay! Bring it, pox! It's on and we're ready. These kiddos can get through this while they are young and not have to worry about it when they're older.

I'm about to put together some herbs, oatmeal baths, and salves....

No need for immunizations... just good old plants and lovin'. We got this.

Changing My Diet and Habits

When we eat as a family, I find myself not making a plate for me. I just put myself on "clean up" duty.... eating all of the kiddos left overs. I don't mind at all and I have a hard time seeing food wasted.

I have given up dairy, wheat/gluten and sugar again. I did that same thing years ago and felt so much better. I'm already feeling better, more clear, and lighter and it's only been a few days! I can see a difference in my skin, too.

Hopefully this will lead into my fast/detox.

I noticed I really have to work on the urge to stop eating the rest of the kiddos food! It has become a habit and now it has to be broken. I have not taken them off dairy or wheat as I did last time. I may do that again at some point, but for now, just me.

Journeying on.... ;)

Loving on My Dad

I recently had some great advice that pulled me back to balance. Thanks for that!

I intend on loving my dad, seeing him as healthy and rejuvenated, and really just believing in his health. I plan on doing family game nights (another piece of advice from a friend), where we can enjoy and interact with eachother. The kiddos are going to love that, too! He has not been diagnosed... and that probably won't happen at this point. He is still going to his acupuncture appointments... yay!

Feeling good about him and his future...

How Do I Make It?

My girlfriend and a beautiful "stranger" asked me recently how I support this crew. I get asked that question often. I typed up an answer... here it is...

Honestly, it is the Law of Attraction/the Universe/God that gets us by. We are always taken care of... and then some. We eat mostly organic, the girls go to an amazing, free, Waldorf school (sits in a mountain house on five acres), we live in a beautiful mountain house, I am able to keep my dog... life is good.

My oldest, Shaylee, is living in luxury on campus, learning Chinese and her major is International Affairs. She got herself there... filled out all the paperwork and has the drive. As a mom, all I've done, is encourage her to be herself. We have a great relationship.

Right now, I go shopping for a coffee shop that's in my canyon. I drive down to the Boulder area and grab groceries for them. That's on once a week and I get fifty bucks for it. I also scored a Costco membership. It seems as though I'm at the store all the time anyway, so it's not much different than my normal trip. ;) I am grateful for being able to have my boys with me.
My ex pays me about $100ish a week right now.
The kids and I have worked on a farm for the last five summers... only on Wednesday mornings for about 4 hours. It's an organic CSA up north. So we get around 40 pounds of organic produce every week! Don't worry, we share... we can't eat all of that! It will stop after October... the season is coming to an end.
I also get food stamps and hit the food bank in Boulder (lots of organic options) every now and then.
I live with another sweet mama in a beautiful mountain house. She has offered us her master suite (with a beautiful jet tub, and front loader washer and dryer right off the suite!) through the winter. She has one son and he is only here every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday. My girls started school last year and her son goes to the same school... that's how we met. She said when I get on my feet, I can pay $250 a month. She felt as if her house space was wasteful and wanted us to fill it up... we are doing a good job of that. ;)

I do feel as if I'm going to get an amazing "job" soon that I will be able to balance my kiddos with and provide service to others... super excited about it!

Fasting and Detoxing

I'm heading toward some type of detox. I'm thinking about doing the Master Cleanse. I'm thinking about doing an all veggie diet for a week and then doing the cleanse/fast for 15 days. Then the all veggie diet again for a week after the fast. I've been thinking about it for about a month now, so I'm close to making that happen. Looking forward to it!

Taking his hand...

Today was a good day...
Went down the mountain and picked up my daddy. I made an appointment for him to see a Chinese Medicine/Acupuncture Doctor. So, I picked him up and drove him there! He went for it... yay! I just love my dad and am so glad he is open to some good acupuncture and herbs. And, he's going again soon! I promised I would go with him to all of his appointments. The only down side for him is the expense. He is not happy spending money towards his health. I told him he is worth it and to remember that! My dad even clocked the mileage... ;)

Of course... Daily Quote

We're not wanting to be insensitive to what so many of you are feeling, but
we are very much wanting you to put this death thing in the proper
perspective: You are all going to die! Except there is no death. You're
all going to make your transition into Non-Physical. It is time to stop
making your transition into Non-Physical sound like a subject that is
uncomfortable, and begin acknowledging that it is something that happens
to everyone. This death thing is so misunderstood that you use it to
torture yourself never-endingly and just absolutely unnecessarily. There
are those who feel such fulfillment of life and such Connection to Source
Energy, who understand that there is no separation between what is
physical and Non-Physical; who understand that there is not even a lapse
in consciousness, that "death" is a matter of closing one's eyes in this
dimension and literally opening one's eyes in the other dimension. And
that, truly, is how all death is, no matter how it looks, up to that
point.. The re-emergence into Source Energy is always a delightful thing.

Abraham

Thanks, Abe... you make me smile and feel a little lighter. ;)

My Dad... Just Love Him

I am so grateful for my father. He wasn't around much when I was little due to his wife's feelings about me and my brother.... and my mother. My dad was in and out of my life.

His wife, my step-mother, committed suicide about 20ish years ago. That is when my relationship with my father began.

He was devastated over her death. She left him a short note saying something like, "I thought you loved me." With a super amount of guilt and a heavy heart, he moved himself to Colorado. His parents and siblings live around the metro area. He also paid my mother's way to Colorado so he would be close to my brother and I. I was about 15 then.

Shortly after we moved to Colorado, I became pregnant with Shaylee. I was sweet sixteen when I had to tell my dad I was having a baby. He was disappointed, excited, nervous, and not quite sure what to say. However, looking back, it was the best thing that could've happened. Before I told him about this new life, he had thoughts of suicide. He didn't want to live after his wife died. Now he felt like he had something to live for. He told me once that this baby might have saved his life.

My dad was there for me when I was pregnant. He called all of my relatives within 20 minutes of telling him the news! I was a little nervous about that, but it worked out beautifully. My family as a whole is very supportive. My dad and I even went bowling when I was eight months pregnant! He got a good laugh outta that. ;)

My dad was there when Shay was born. He was in charge of filming the birth... poor guy. Little did he know it was going to take 24 1/2 hours! He got to cut her umbilical cord. Needless to say, they have always had a super close relationship. My dad savors every moment of Shaylee's life and has from the beginning. He saw her first steps, watched her think things through and make decisions, and still pays such close attention to every detail of her life. I think he realized he missed out on my childhood and really wanted to pay attention to his granddaughter's. That is just what he has done and just what he continues to do.

Time has passed.... my dad is now in his early 60's and my daughter is turning 18 in a few weeks. I have some great memories and we've had some good times.

Over the past few years, illness has crept up on my dad. He hasn't had the healthiest diet or exercise routine. He watches a lot of TV and enjoys playing card games on his computer... usually at the same time. I think TV for my dad is like alcohol for other's. He has used TV over the years to numb himself from grieving for his wife, childhood issues, and just life in general. He knows when every "Judge" show comes on, tapes certain talk shows and has stayed home, missing family events, when certain sporting events are on.

I've heard of other friends and acquaintances having to take care of and even losing their parents. Now, it's time for me to visit this subject and really put some thought into it.

My dad is sick. A few months ago, in the back of my mind, Parkinson's came up. I didn't pay much attention to it... until now. That is my diagnosis. I would never wish that on anyone (definitely not my dad) and feel a huge sense of guilt even saying the word. He hasn't been tested by a Western Medicine Physician... that's next.

I haven't told him yet. I haven't told him I think he should be tested for Parkinson's. Not sure how I will go about this. I feel heavy.

Parkinson's? My dad? That can't be... can it? I've only had a few days to really absorb this. We'll wait for the official diagnosis... but I can't help but to feel sad.

My dad told me, more than once, he never wanted to be a burden on me or my brother. He also doesn't want to feel helpless. He said he always has a way out... "it" is an option for him.

To the man who means sooo much to me...
Dearest Dad,

I love you more than you'll ever know.

You are my best friend. You are my support. You have been there for me in so many ways. You have loved me unconditionally.

You supported me when I told you I was pregnant... at 16. You supported me when I told you I was pregnant, time after time, after time! ;)
You were supportive when I said, "Dad, we're selling EVERYTHING and moving into a 21 foot RV for the summer." And again the next summer, and again the following summer.
You were supportive when I said I was homeschooling Shaylee and then the rest of the kids. You were supportive when I said I wasn't immunizing the kids.
You were supportive when I said I was treating my kids at home and we weren't going to go to the hospital or use western medicine when they were sick.
You supported me when I said, "Dad, I'm getting a divorce.... I'm taking the five kiddos and I'm leaving him."
You never doubted me.... at least out loud. ;)

Dad, thanks for loving me and believing in me. You have been such a strength in my life. You are my earth angel.

Dad, I am here to support you now. I am here for you. I want to be your strength and support. Allow me to be your earth angel.

Whatever decisions you make, whatever feelings you have, I am here to support you. I will not judge you and won't take anything personal.

I love you unconditionally, Dad. You are my hero... my hero.

With Pure Love.... Your daughter,
Nae