A new direction!

I've ended up with a 12 passenger van. The kiddos are super excited to have all of the room it provides! What can I do with a van this size? Okay.... I need to make some money, be able to have my kiddos with me, make a difference, and enjoy what I'm doing. Hmmmm.... shuttle service has been taken off the list of options. Too much insurance! What about a courier service? Yay! A great friend of mine has decided to put some marketing on my van for a courier service. He's doing it for free. I am soooo super grateful. The name? Around The Way Girl, Delivery. Motto? Happiness is a journey.... AND a destination. Yay! Okay, now what am I going to deliver? I don't know, to be honest. But I do know this is going to work out beyond my wildest dreams. I would like to make a difference in the world. Maybe picking up food that is being thrown out from restaurants and grocery stores and taking it to the shelters? Maybe? Something... waiting and searching for an opportunity. I feel it coming...

One beautiful man...

Found a beautiful being... he speaks like Obama, has the passion of MLK, he overflows with compassion, he's mature with his emotions, he processes and thinks things through, his actions match his words, he has an amazing sense of humor.... he's intelligent, powerful, spiritual, loving, and on and on. The more time I spend with him, the harder I fall. I am overwhelmed by his aura.... so strong, sooo bright. I've never been in the presence of a man that has made me feel this way. It's almost like meeting Abraham Lincoln or Obama in person, and falling in love with him. Am I strong enough to pursue this? I am weak around him... butterflies are rampant within my gut. He has this strength about him. Patience? He has more than I do... is he for real? Sure he has his weaknesses, too... commitment? Heh! That word sends shivers down his spine... workaholic? Nah, but definitely on a mission... full speed ahead! I want to be the one next to him and behind him, giving him strength, support and encouragement. We'll see where this journey takes us. For now, I've got to just give this one to the universe... take it and do with it what ya will. I'm just going to stay present and aware within the "right now." I've got to stay grounded and keep a clear mind. Can't get foggy now... breathe, Jenae. Just breathe... it's going to play out just how it's supposed to. No worries... right?

Grateful for...

I try to write down daily what I'm grateful for. I've got this cute little journal that travels in my purse with me everywhere I go... I call it my "grateful for" journal. ;) Soooo many things to appreciate in my life on the daily! My kids are soo amazing, I live in the beautiful mountains of Colorado, I have incredible friends and family in my life, a super cool dog that loves me unconditionally, and the people that come into my life give me inspiration and help me grow as a person. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A single mama's journey...

About a month ago, I rolled my Honda Pilot... five kiddos, two dogs and a single mama inside. We all came out alive and well! Of course we did. ;) The sheriff said I was the calmest person he has ever seen in a roll over accident. I just remember knowing everyone was okay. It didn't even cross my mind that someone could've died or gotten injured. We landed upside down in the canyon and I immediately started grabbing and pushing my kids out of the Honda. Tiana (my 10-year-old) got her shihtzu, Misty, out. I yelled at Kodah, my dog, to get out as I was reaching for, and unbuckling, the baby. Jayden (my 9-year-old) hopped out first... I unbuckled Tiana and she dropped as I pushed her and told her to get out of the car (that's when she grabbed her dog)... I pushed Isaiah out, unbuckled and grabbed the baby... held him while I got my 3-year-old, Malik, unbuckled and out of the car. What an amazing experience...
I am grateful for my kids, my dogs, that experience, and the snow that cushioned my Honda and all of us inside of it.
Moving on... spent some of the money I got for my Honda from the insurance company on different things. I went to Star Bucks regularly, bought some new clothes for me and my kiddos, ate out often, enjoyed spending whatever, whenever, and however I wanted in that moment. I have no regrets now. I ended up with less to spend on my future vehicle, but I know it is all working out just like it's supposed to. I have a van now that I'm working on turning into a shuttle service... something I'd soooo enjoy. I asked the universe for a job where I would have freedom with my schedule, something I can dress up to do, travel a bit, and work with my kids schedules... I also want to meet and network with others. This is the beginning of another fun chapter in the Jenae novel! I will keep ya posted!

LOA

So, life is good. Living, loving, dating, doing the mama thing and keeping balance! I'm loving the Law of Attraction. I've got my vision board.... got my box of whatever is, is.... keeping my vibration up with gratitude and love. It feels good to be grown and be able to make decisions about dating, parenting, doing, and knowing that it's okay because I'm grown and understand the outcome or circumstances surrounding it all. The kiddos are beautiful and growing in there own lives. My Tiana and Jayden are attending a free, public, waldorf school in a beautiful mountain house on 5 acres. It's a science and arts school that is the perfect spot for my lovely, free spirits to learn, grow and bloom! My boys are enjoying eachother and life as we go.... wrestling, playing, fighting, spitting, and then some. My Shaylee is blooming and has decided to go to school for International Affairs! Whoa... where'd that come from? Not me for sure! But fun to watch and interesting to see how far she's going! Got reconnected with my soul mate, friend on Facebook. Shawna is a beautiful being that has been in and outta my life for over 17 years! Her and I are almost one in the same. Some differences, but sooooo many similarities. LOVE her.
Keep your head up, increase your vibe, love what you got, where you are, embrace it all, and put out there what you WANT.... see where that gets ya! xoxox

Time keeps on movin'!

Here I am... a little over a year later! I am loving all of the changes and everything they have brought. Every time I feel some stress... I count my blessings! And, oh, do I have blessings! One is 4 months old, another 2 1/2, almost 6, 8, 10, 16, two beautiful dogs, a nice home, farm food, friends, my amazing dad, more family, strangers, and a job that I enjoy! There is more... sometimes a crying baby (glad he's alive and well), an unhappy 2 year-old throwing a tantrum (also glad he's here with me), a flat tire (at least I have a car), a mess in the kitchen (appreciate the food we get to eat), a spill on the floor (we have a floor!), never ending laundry (just means we have clothes for all of our bodies), etc. etc.! The list goes on!
I am creating my life. Divorced now... done going back and forth with him since the divorce. Our divorce was final in November of last year. We have dated a few times since then to no avail. It's been hard, because I remember him as my best friend. I remember tag teaming with the kiddos. I remember going for walks to the park as a family. That was then.
I am embracing now. Now is definitely different. We are different. He is not what I crave any longer. I want to move forward. I will have a nice home for us. I will enjoy my kids, have lotsa money, have nice things, help others, go on vacations with the kids and without them, I am going to take time for me, spas, massages, etc., etc. etc. We deserve to thrive.
since last year, i have given birth to a beautiful baby boy. his father is not my ex husband. his father is the only other man i have been with since the divorce. we were together a total of four or five weeks. he lives on the east coast and was here in colorado last summer. i was staying at my sister's house during the divorce and he was staying at my sister's house with her boyfriend for a visit at the same time. he had five kids and was going through a separation, as was i. this is what happened.... no excuses. no regrets.
the pregnancy was different than what i'm used to. this time i was pregnant by a man who wasn't going to be a part of the pregnancy or the baby's life. i also was still in love and missing my ex husband and confused by the divorce... so i dated my ex off and on throughout the pregnancy. he wasn't comfortable with the pregnancy, which made things different. he would still rub my belly... just differently. also during our "dating," little did i know he was pursuing other women. what a mess. glad it's over! more about that another time!
i only wish the best to him on his journey and i want the best on mine. the kids have adjusted through this and will continue adjusting as life goes on. this was the best choice for us. i want to show my kids that it's important to make decisions based on what you believe in... based on what is right for them, no matter what the outcome may look like. stay strong and do what you think is right, no matter what others think, no matter how hard it is.... you can do it. you can do whatever you put your mind and heart into.... even if you have six kids, even if you aren't sure what happens next or how you'll get your next meal. know that you aren't alone in this huge universe and things will work out. my horses fly. :) day by day... that's the way.
jenae

filing in two days and already moving on....

when i kicked out my husband of twelve years.... i put it out there.  i told the universe what i wanted.  i wanted a big, beautiful dark skinned man to love me, take care of me, empower me, help me grow, be a strength for me.  i met someone.  whether this is him is still to be determined.... but he is a big, beautiful dark skinned man who is loving on me.  when i put it out there, i let it go.  i wrote it down, talked about it and then let it go. 

when i was faced with kissing on someone else, or letting him touch me, i thought it would be much harder to allow.  i didn't resist much.  i've found someone i am comfortable with and feel good around.  i definitely don't go around kissing just anyone... i'm a lil picky.  

maybe i should feel guilty, maybe i should be sorry, but i'm not.  i'm sorry this has hurt my lover of 12 years, but i'm not sorry for my actions.  i'm okay with where i'm at.  

who knows what will come of this new friendship, but i'm loving it for now.  it feels good.

peace,

jenae