The summer played out....

So, it all came together.... summer. Summer started with us being "homeless." It's an interesting word, with different opinions depending on who you ask. I knew it would work out and just had to believe that all was well. We just went from a house to the forest. This camping trip lasted two weeks before I got a house sitting opportunity. May was a "good" time to be homeless due to the weather. Camping is familiar to the older kiddos, so they were comfortable with it. It was a lot harder for me camping this time due to my youngest being only one and not so into change, and being a single mama. I have to give major props to my ex, though, for stepping up and helping us. He helped us move... I was super sick (fluish) so he pretty much moved us out. He helped with funds as much as he could. He also helped parent... tag team - nice!
After two weeks, the kids and I moved into a house in Erie. The house had been sitting empty with the exception of the two dogs that were left alone most of the time. So, my job was to take care of the dogs and the house and I could live there for free. It was perfect. A two bedroom house with a big back yard, a toilet, a shower, a washer/dryer (yay!), running water... it's the little things! I am so grateful. We lived there from the first of June until late August.
When the house sitting was over, there was a one week lapse until I moved into another mama's beautiful mountain home back in the canyon by the girls school. We camped it again for that week and found an amazing spot that we so enjoyed. The timing of everything couldn't have been better if it was planned! The summer worked out beautifully and the fall has started off with a feeling of exhaling.
My business of delivery didn't "take off," but it got us by. My ex worked a lumber job up in the mountains and gave us half of his check every week.... something like $60 a week on average. I appreciate him for that.
One gentleman that I had met on craigslist, earlier in the year, to buy his computer (which I didn't end up buying), helped us so much this summer. He helped me put stickers on my van for my business. He had me doing some pick up and delivery for his business and would pay for gas in my van and food for the family in return. Our friendship ended on a not so nice note, but I am still grateful for everything he has done for me and the kiddos.
Random strangers offered me money along my journey this summer.... that was amazing! Wow, sweet guardian angels that didn't even know me! One gentleman at a small town, kinda "junky" dealership talked with me and the kiddos for about an hour. He gave them ice cream bars and then handed one of my boys $20 so they could go eat burgers.
One sweet, Jersey lady at a small town storage place ended up giving us $120 for burgers, gas and to keep my phone on. I stopped to look at an RV she had up for sale and our friendship lasted about a week. She heard me on the phone talking with my cell phone provider about disconnecting my phone. She met my kiddos and fell in love. She and I had a great connection and it just kept going for that week. I moved shortly after we started our short friendship. I appreciate both of those sweet people. Thanks for helping out my crew. xoxo
Two of my girlfriends really helped me out this summer, too. Both I have known forever! I love you girlies! Thanks for all you do on a regular basis and thanks sooo much for the help you gave me this summer.... financially, emotionally, with food, etc!
Can't forget my dad! I am so glad he's mine! He has been there for me unconditionally. He helps financially and is a great listener. I can't even put into words how much he means to me and how important he is to me. I love you, papa! Thank you, thank you, thank you. XO
So grateful for every day and everything that comes my way. I love the people I meet on my journey, I enjoy my kiddos and watching them on their journeys.... my littlest guy was such an inspiration this summer. He just waddles around with no cares or concerns. He just knows it's all going to be okay. He is happy to be wherever he is whenever he is there. I love that and strive to have that same sense of being in the now and enjoying it.... wherever that is.

xoxo

Keepin' on...

The "Obama" man... beautiful soul, but not for me. It took me a minute, but now I see clearly. This man is an amazing one, who will change the world in his own space with his heart-felt passion... but not with me next to him. Thanks to the Universe for showing me that. I can always rely on the Universe to have my back... gotta remember that as I journey on!
So, what's next... let me just talk it out...
Moving within the next two weeks. Not sure where the kiddos and I are headed, but I'm sure it's gonna play out beautifully. My ex lost his J.O.B. -which just means no more child support cushion. I'm not currently working, but I hope to be slammin' with my new biz soon! My dad is going to retire next week and is not in the financial space to help me any longer. In one HUGE way, I am soooo glad. He needs to rest his weary bank account and mind. I don't want him to have to support me and my crew. That's a big responsibility he didn't sign up for! My oldest girl and I can't seem to communicate right now... no worries, though. That, too, will come around. I'm for sure. Just missin' her...
Still have the most incredible, loving, kiddos who are healthy and free spirited! Still counting my endless blessings!
I was told to keep breathin' and believin'... that's what I do best, so here I go!
xoxo

Love... feelings... hmmmm...

Working out some feelings and emotions. Crazy how grounded I've felt compared to recent uncertainty. I am growing for sure... learning and expanding all over the place. If this is love and this is how I feel with it... forget it! I'd rather feel grounded and secure than insecure and open to being hurt. I have wanted love in my life and the security of being with one man... a man that is my best friend, soul mate and protector. But am I ready for that? Am I up for it? I have found him and I'm chasing him off. I am for sure pushing him away and can't help it. Seems he has some walls that I would only be able to penetrate slowly.... and I don't seem to have the patience for that. I'm an all or none... get in or out... right now type of girl. I've fought that and tried to slow down and do more in the "middle." I'm just not sure how that is working out for me. Actually, it's driving me nuts. I know what I want and I am ready now. But, he's not. I need to step back and let him play that out. In the end, whatever happens, happens and I'll be okay with it... I've gotta be. :)

A new direction!

I've ended up with a 12 passenger van. The kiddos are super excited to have all of the room it provides! What can I do with a van this size? Okay.... I need to make some money, be able to have my kiddos with me, make a difference, and enjoy what I'm doing. Hmmmm.... shuttle service has been taken off the list of options. Too much insurance! What about a courier service? Yay! A great friend of mine has decided to put some marketing on my van for a courier service. He's doing it for free. I am soooo super grateful. The name? Around The Way Girl, Delivery. Motto? Happiness is a journey.... AND a destination. Yay! Okay, now what am I going to deliver? I don't know, to be honest. But I do know this is going to work out beyond my wildest dreams. I would like to make a difference in the world. Maybe picking up food that is being thrown out from restaurants and grocery stores and taking it to the shelters? Maybe? Something... waiting and searching for an opportunity. I feel it coming...

One beautiful man...

Found a beautiful being... he speaks like Obama, has the passion of MLK, he overflows with compassion, he's mature with his emotions, he processes and thinks things through, his actions match his words, he has an amazing sense of humor.... he's intelligent, powerful, spiritual, loving, and on and on. The more time I spend with him, the harder I fall. I am overwhelmed by his aura.... so strong, sooo bright. I've never been in the presence of a man that has made me feel this way. It's almost like meeting Abraham Lincoln or Obama in person, and falling in love with him. Am I strong enough to pursue this? I am weak around him... butterflies are rampant within my gut. He has this strength about him. Patience? He has more than I do... is he for real? Sure he has his weaknesses, too... commitment? Heh! That word sends shivers down his spine... workaholic? Nah, but definitely on a mission... full speed ahead! I want to be the one next to him and behind him, giving him strength, support and encouragement. We'll see where this journey takes us. For now, I've got to just give this one to the universe... take it and do with it what ya will. I'm just going to stay present and aware within the "right now." I've got to stay grounded and keep a clear mind. Can't get foggy now... breathe, Jenae. Just breathe... it's going to play out just how it's supposed to. No worries... right?

Grateful for...

I try to write down daily what I'm grateful for. I've got this cute little journal that travels in my purse with me everywhere I go... I call it my "grateful for" journal. ;) Soooo many things to appreciate in my life on the daily! My kids are soo amazing, I live in the beautiful mountains of Colorado, I have incredible friends and family in my life, a super cool dog that loves me unconditionally, and the people that come into my life give me inspiration and help me grow as a person. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

A single mama's journey...

About a month ago, I rolled my Honda Pilot... five kiddos, two dogs and a single mama inside. We all came out alive and well! Of course we did. ;) The sheriff said I was the calmest person he has ever seen in a roll over accident. I just remember knowing everyone was okay. It didn't even cross my mind that someone could've died or gotten injured. We landed upside down in the canyon and I immediately started grabbing and pushing my kids out of the Honda. Tiana (my 10-year-old) got her shihtzu, Misty, out. I yelled at Kodah, my dog, to get out as I was reaching for, and unbuckling, the baby. Jayden (my 9-year-old) hopped out first... I unbuckled Tiana and she dropped as I pushed her and told her to get out of the car (that's when she grabbed her dog)... I pushed Isaiah out, unbuckled and grabbed the baby... held him while I got my 3-year-old, Malik, unbuckled and out of the car. What an amazing experience...
I am grateful for my kids, my dogs, that experience, and the snow that cushioned my Honda and all of us inside of it.
Moving on... spent some of the money I got for my Honda from the insurance company on different things. I went to Star Bucks regularly, bought some new clothes for me and my kiddos, ate out often, enjoyed spending whatever, whenever, and however I wanted in that moment. I have no regrets now. I ended up with less to spend on my future vehicle, but I know it is all working out just like it's supposed to. I have a van now that I'm working on turning into a shuttle service... something I'd soooo enjoy. I asked the universe for a job where I would have freedom with my schedule, something I can dress up to do, travel a bit, and work with my kids schedules... I also want to meet and network with others. This is the beginning of another fun chapter in the Jenae novel! I will keep ya posted!