We are blessed in so many ways. There are SO many other pertinent things in this world to focus on outside of my family, although we are currently on the front page.
My family has a Source supporting us that is MUCH bigger than the government's funding.
So, to all who believe there isn't an abundance and I am somehow TAKING what is yours, I apologize.
There is more than enough, an abundance even, in this part of the world and I would share with you if there is something I have that you want/need.
I am a firm believer that "everything happens for a reason." This home my family ended up living in that is now foreclosed on, has happened for a reason. Who knows what that happens to be yet, but it wasn't by accident.
The family that lived there and ALLOWED me to move into the garden-level apartment with my family KNEW I was looking for long term. The woman knew me and my background.....she knew me when I was married, knew me throughout some of my pregnancies, knew me when I was going through my divorce, and after. She knew me for about 10 years. Obviously, if she thought I was taking advantage of ALL in the community, she would not have allowed me to move into her home.
She also KNEW she was having marital problems and she knew of her money problems and a few other things. I didn't know this prior to moving in.
Before I moved in, I REITERATED that I was looking for stability. The kids and I had moved enough and we really wanted to stay somewhere LONG TERM.
My biggest concern was that there was six of us living in the apartment below them and I didn't want to disturb them with the noise.
She reassured me all was well and it would work out just fine.
She stopped coming home within THREE weeks of my family moving into the apartment. Obviously, it wasn't something that spontaneously happened and something that she wasn't aware of.
Either way, her "husband" has not left the house. He STILL lives upstairs from me. He was on the DEED of the home and has allowed us to stay. Even if I happened to have found another option for my family, which obviously hasn't happened, the husband STILL lives at the house. I didn't prevent the sale of the house.
I pay the bills, with the help of little child support and my close family and friends. Not an ideal situation and as time passes, change occurs.
I didn't pay rent when I found out NOBODY was paying the MORTGAGE or the bills. This paralleled with my ex not being able to pay consistent child support.
True, my ex has not been paying consistent child support. HE stated that in the article....they called him and spoke directly to him. He is a good man at his core, just going through some hard times financially and has made some choices that we are all enduring the consequences of.
We ALL have made choices we have to live with and consequences that go along with those choices...me included.
I was married for 12 years. I NEVER thought we would divorce. I believed it was forever. For reasons I will not mention, we couldn't compromise and divorced.
Keenan came along because of choices I made and then I was faced with another choice.....abortion (as his father brought up as an option) or have this child. It was an easy choice for me.
My focus.....nourishing these kiddos, our earth and eachother. Nourishing with love, attention, organics, time, nature and truly paying attention and being present.
Organic beans and rice (often)....to organic sushi....wheatgrass, yes. Health is a priority and should be available to ALL.
Employment? Yes, I worked during my marriage and after. I enjoy working. It gets me out of the house, I get to speak with adults, the consistent paycheck is needed, I love helping others, etc.
I have the freedom to choose where to have my children in school or to homeschool them. Everyone has that freedom. Having them in a safe environment that allows growth and supports their very being is of utmost importance to me. I only want them to flourish. I can only work and focus outside of the home when I know my kids are in a safe and supportive environment. Period.
It's a hard balance and the choices are not always easy.
I have a history of homeschooling the children. When I was married, that is the choice we made for our family.
This is a choice that came along after we experienced a severe illness (which also inspired eating organic and being more health conscious) with my oldest daughter, who was not mentioned in this article. This was a decision that was made after dealing with her in the public school system. This was a decision that was LEGAL and an option.
Meet Shaylee....yes, yet ANOTHER father. I gave birth to Shaylee when I was 16. What a blessing. She is currently finishing her junior year in college, double majoring, volunteering her time for a non-profit, holding two jobs and changing the world. She gets all the credit for her accomplishments. She is just an amazing being and came into the world with a purpose that she took hold of at a very young age.
I always tell Shaylee that she's my "soul mate." She has been supportive, loving, critical, challenging and simply incredible.
Shaylee is very close to all of her siblings. Her and I are also very close.
The kids are currently enrolled in Boulder Valley Schools, with the exception of Keenan, for the fall. I'm hoping for the best. This wasn't an easy decision. I was hoping for a Waldorf or Montessori option for all of them, but that has not opened up at this time. Yes, financially that wouldn't add up....but why not go for the best for these kiddos. They are worth every ounce of effort.
We all have childhood stories. Mine is not worse than any other. I was raised by a single mother who worked 60-70 hours a week as a fast food manager.
My dad wasn't present for the majority of my childhood. His wife, my step-mom, hated me and my brother. My father and I are very close now. He has admitted to being absent for most of my childhood and apologized. He is my best friend.
My grandmother remembers coming to my house when I was 2 and my brother 3. She said we were alone and I was on the counter searching for food in the cabinets.
Fast food was our nourishment for the majority of our childhood. I was in the hospital on a regular basis for urinary tract infections, kidney problems and one surgery related to the same.
My mother was/is a pharmaceutical addict. You open her cabinet, and there are many prescription bottles. I remember being given medicine on a regular basis as I was growing up.
We moved, on average, every six months to a year. I went to MANY elementary schools and four high schools.
My social security number was used for bills, as was my brother's.
I remember living in one home, and the cops surrounding the home that only held one TV at the time because we had just began to move in. There was no electricity yet and I was about 12 or 13. They were looking for and took my brother and my mother and left me in the home.
My mom still "functions" and loves me in to the best of her ability. I accept her for who she is and my childhood for what it was.
So, my mom worked....but at what cost. She made money and did HER best, but at what cost? What cost to her children?
It takes parents AND a village to raise children. That is what we have LOST sight of in this society.
There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect person or situation.
My kids know love, they know life, they have seen blessings and magic. They are balanced, present and aware. They are critical thinkers and movers.
They know their mom and I am blessed to truly KNOW them. They are nourished, loved and cared for.
We share ALL of this with everyone we come across.
In spite of sequestration, in spite of any negative energy and comments, in spite of any challenges that we face.....my family is blessed. I am more than grateful.
Love to ALL of you.
Jenae Sigg
Val....you spoke my truth. Thank you so much for your words and support. I can only hope to meet you someday. xo
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