This thing called life is just incredible. What an amazing journey that continues on.
I guess moving out of the area wasn't in the cards. Due to my ex and some higher powers at work, we were forced to stay put.
Thank goodness. What a blessing it turned out to be. ;)
We are still in the same place we moved into in June of this year after moving out of the foreclosed house.
I am now in a serious, amazing, loving, mature, spontaneous, exciting, mutual, beautiful relationship with the man that we moved in with. We've known eachother for 7 years. Neither of us ever knew what we could be together. We have always been friends, kind and genuine. We lived together for two months this summer without even considering being life partners or anything more than friends.
In August, things changed. I asked him to my sister's wedding. I told him we could just go as friends. I knew I didn't want anything more.
We had such a great time. We snuggled, held hands, talked, danced a bit, and hung out with friends and family together.
We both felt something different that night, but waited for another couple of days after the wedding to act on it.
What an incredible life we've been living together since! It's been so smooth and almost effortless the way things have fallen into place. The kids love him and he loves them. I love him and he loves me....in ways I have never experienced. It's such a beautiful thing.
It's surreal and SO real at the same time.
I feel so connected to him. Our lives have quietly merged.
I now have to learn how to stop all of my habits of "survival" and independence. I don't have to give up my independence, but I sometimes forget that I now have someone who wants to and who will hold me up, help me out, love me...someone who is now part of me and has taken on all that I have.
He loves this family and sees the beauty of it all. This is his family....it just is.
xoxo
Breathing freely and loving immensely....
The kids are in school and loving it for the most part. I still have a vision of having them home...but I also want whatever is best for them. They are right where they are supposed to be for now.
I've learned SO much along the way. I am grateful.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Thursday, July 4, 2013
On and On!
I just received an email about Tiana's ACCEPTANCE to an amazing school down south!!! Jayden already had a spot and the boys are on the waiting list. Yay!
This was the ONLY thing "semi" weighing on me....my kids in public schools next year. Three different, huge, public schools...naaaahhhh! Not happening!
A beautiful, small, incredible, FREE, public, CHARTER school has accepted Tiana into their high school program. The high school has a total of 24 students.... a total! This school is a pre-K through 12 school that has been around since '96.
Tiana had to go through an interview process with the school. She had to write an essay on her strengths and weaknesses as a student, young adult and citizen of the world.
Not only did she write a phenomenal essay......she wrote it in caligraphy, put it on scroll paper WITH a red ribbon tied around it! THAT is my creative, most amazing, 14-year-old strong, young lady!!
I wrote an essay explaining why I support Tiana in her decision to join this program/school and what I would be able to offer the school.
Tiana then went through an interview process with the teachers and administration. I sat in with her as she answered questions and came up with questions for each one of them. It went perfect and we really had connections with all of the incredible staff.
At first, Tiana was not accepted. They were sad to say, all four spots had been filled and Tiana was the runner up. We left feeling okay with that....thinking we just weren't meant to move to that area.
The email yesterday said that one of the students dropped the program because they were moving out of the area and Tiana now has the option of enrolling in their program!!
We're taking it. This is happening.
What a beautiful school, in a like-minded, small, mountain community....yay! It will not be our old school, or our old community....but, I have a feeling it will be a similar feel.
The boys are on the waiting list. Meanwhile, there is a small public school that will do. They also have a preschool for Keenan.
All of this in a small town....less driving and gas $$. Buses run to both schools, SO much organic around, beautiful people- all encompassing a similar respect for the earth and everything on it, around it, in it....just aware and present.
It feels really good.
Middle and High School years are such important and intense times for everyone. I truly want my girls in a nourishing, strengthening, supportive environment during these years. A sacred place with unlimited growth potential.....we got it. ;)
My boys will be in soon enough. Until then, this ultimate warrior mama is ready for holding it down at home....providing that foundation and support while they journey through their days.
Grateful!!! So, so grateful!! xoxo
This was the ONLY thing "semi" weighing on me....my kids in public schools next year. Three different, huge, public schools...naaaahhhh! Not happening!
A beautiful, small, incredible, FREE, public, CHARTER school has accepted Tiana into their high school program. The high school has a total of 24 students.... a total! This school is a pre-K through 12 school that has been around since '96.
Tiana had to go through an interview process with the school. She had to write an essay on her strengths and weaknesses as a student, young adult and citizen of the world.
Not only did she write a phenomenal essay......she wrote it in caligraphy, put it on scroll paper WITH a red ribbon tied around it! THAT is my creative, most amazing, 14-year-old strong, young lady!!
I wrote an essay explaining why I support Tiana in her decision to join this program/school and what I would be able to offer the school.
Tiana then went through an interview process with the teachers and administration. I sat in with her as she answered questions and came up with questions for each one of them. It went perfect and we really had connections with all of the incredible staff.
At first, Tiana was not accepted. They were sad to say, all four spots had been filled and Tiana was the runner up. We left feeling okay with that....thinking we just weren't meant to move to that area.
The email yesterday said that one of the students dropped the program because they were moving out of the area and Tiana now has the option of enrolling in their program!!
We're taking it. This is happening.
What a beautiful school, in a like-minded, small, mountain community....yay! It will not be our old school, or our old community....but, I have a feeling it will be a similar feel.
The boys are on the waiting list. Meanwhile, there is a small public school that will do. They also have a preschool for Keenan.
All of this in a small town....less driving and gas $$. Buses run to both schools, SO much organic around, beautiful people- all encompassing a similar respect for the earth and everything on it, around it, in it....just aware and present.
It feels really good.
Middle and High School years are such important and intense times for everyone. I truly want my girls in a nourishing, strengthening, supportive environment during these years. A sacred place with unlimited growth potential.....we got it. ;)
My boys will be in soon enough. Until then, this ultimate warrior mama is ready for holding it down at home....providing that foundation and support while they journey through their days.
Grateful!!! So, so grateful!! xoxo
Sunday, June 16, 2013
All is Well....Always
Life is such a gift and so amazing.
We are in a safe, nurturing, supportive environment now. We are living in another sanctuary in a different part of the mountains. I still don't know the specifics of how this came to be....it's magic, miracles, blessings and then some. I am just truly grateful.
The kids are happy and so is mama. ;)
The bank did pay us to move. The broker, Phil, was very supportive and loving on the day I met him at the house to do the walk through and recieve the check. He hugged me and told me that I was an amazing mother and he only wished us the best. He let Keenan take some pictures on his camera and was very present during our last interaction. I am so grateful for him. He is an honest, genuine, sweet man involved in a "game" that can be very challenging.
He looked through the apartment, played with the boys, handed me a check from the bank, then gave me $100 cash from his own wallet. I couldn't keep it together....I was crying tears of joy. The hard work, packing, moving, breathing....it was such an amazing process and so rewarding. Phil brought his wife and introduced us. What a challenging, beautiful day.
*exhale
The girls were able to finish school. Yay!
The boys are happy in our new space.....there is a slack line set up, our very own skate park made of wood, and now a place to throw sticks. Sticks is a simple, but very fun way of being a boy or getting out any frustration. ;) We also have a range where we can shoot our bow and arrows.
It came down to the last minute, but worked out as usual. Right before the move, there happened to be a man at the top of my driveway when we returned home one evening. He was there to help my neighbor, and ended up helping us, too.
This beautiful man, earth angel, moved me and the kiddos....just us and him. Moving is usually stressful....there was a little of that. All-in-all, this was the smoothest, most fun, enjoyable move I've ever experienced. He was amazing with my kids....strong, motivated, loving and hilarious. Everything just flowed. We put all of our things in his trailer. It was an epic move.....along with the incrediblly fun pine cone fights and lots of laughter. ;)
We live with a friend I have known for 7ish years and it's just synergistic and perfect for now.
The article? Well....I do know that the article helped some of my friends/family members eat more organic and healthy. I am grateful for that. I truly hope it inspired and helped spark an interest in health, love and happiness for many. What is really important in this lifetime....that is a question for everyone to ask themselves.
Believe, trust, leap....stay honest, keep good intentions, be dependable... and you'll land right where you are supposed to be.
I read something recently....
"God's Will won't take you where God's Will won't protect you."
I believe that. God/Universe/Higher Powers that Be/you fill in the blank. ;)
Love, love......
We are in a safe, nurturing, supportive environment now. We are living in another sanctuary in a different part of the mountains. I still don't know the specifics of how this came to be....it's magic, miracles, blessings and then some. I am just truly grateful.
The kids are happy and so is mama. ;)
The bank did pay us to move. The broker, Phil, was very supportive and loving on the day I met him at the house to do the walk through and recieve the check. He hugged me and told me that I was an amazing mother and he only wished us the best. He let Keenan take some pictures on his camera and was very present during our last interaction. I am so grateful for him. He is an honest, genuine, sweet man involved in a "game" that can be very challenging.
He looked through the apartment, played with the boys, handed me a check from the bank, then gave me $100 cash from his own wallet. I couldn't keep it together....I was crying tears of joy. The hard work, packing, moving, breathing....it was such an amazing process and so rewarding. Phil brought his wife and introduced us. What a challenging, beautiful day.
*exhale
The girls were able to finish school. Yay!
The boys are happy in our new space.....there is a slack line set up, our very own skate park made of wood, and now a place to throw sticks. Sticks is a simple, but very fun way of being a boy or getting out any frustration. ;) We also have a range where we can shoot our bow and arrows.
It came down to the last minute, but worked out as usual. Right before the move, there happened to be a man at the top of my driveway when we returned home one evening. He was there to help my neighbor, and ended up helping us, too.
This beautiful man, earth angel, moved me and the kiddos....just us and him. Moving is usually stressful....there was a little of that. All-in-all, this was the smoothest, most fun, enjoyable move I've ever experienced. He was amazing with my kids....strong, motivated, loving and hilarious. Everything just flowed. We put all of our things in his trailer. It was an epic move.....along with the incrediblly fun pine cone fights and lots of laughter. ;)
We live with a friend I have known for 7ish years and it's just synergistic and perfect for now.
The article? Well....I do know that the article helped some of my friends/family members eat more organic and healthy. I am grateful for that. I truly hope it inspired and helped spark an interest in health, love and happiness for many. What is really important in this lifetime....that is a question for everyone to ask themselves.
Believe, trust, leap....stay honest, keep good intentions, be dependable... and you'll land right where you are supposed to be.
I read something recently....
"God's Will won't take you where God's Will won't protect you."
I believe that. God/Universe/Higher Powers that Be/you fill in the blank. ;)
Love, love......
Thursday, April 18, 2013
My Response (to Boulder Weekly Comments)
We are blessed in so many ways. There are SO many other pertinent things in this world to focus on outside of my family, although we are currently on the front page.
My family has a Source supporting us that is MUCH bigger than the government's funding.
So, to all who believe there isn't an abundance and I am somehow TAKING what is yours, I apologize.
There is more than enough, an abundance even, in this part of the world and I would share with you if there is something I have that you want/need.
I am a firm believer that "everything happens for a reason." This home my family ended up living in that is now foreclosed on, has happened for a reason. Who knows what that happens to be yet, but it wasn't by accident.
The family that lived there and ALLOWED me to move into the garden-level apartment with my family KNEW I was looking for long term. The woman knew me and my background.....she knew me when I was married, knew me throughout some of my pregnancies, knew me when I was going through my divorce, and after. She knew me for about 10 years. Obviously, if she thought I was taking advantage of ALL in the community, she would not have allowed me to move into her home.
She also KNEW she was having marital problems and she knew of her money problems and a few other things. I didn't know this prior to moving in.
Before I moved in, I REITERATED that I was looking for stability. The kids and I had moved enough and we really wanted to stay somewhere LONG TERM.
My biggest concern was that there was six of us living in the apartment below them and I didn't want to disturb them with the noise.
She reassured me all was well and it would work out just fine.
She stopped coming home within THREE weeks of my family moving into the apartment. Obviously, it wasn't something that spontaneously happened and something that she wasn't aware of.
Either way, her "husband" has not left the house. He STILL lives upstairs from me. He was on the DEED of the home and has allowed us to stay. Even if I happened to have found another option for my family, which obviously hasn't happened, the husband STILL lives at the house. I didn't prevent the sale of the house.
I pay the bills, with the help of little child support and my close family and friends. Not an ideal situation and as time passes, change occurs.
I didn't pay rent when I found out NOBODY was paying the MORTGAGE or the bills. This paralleled with my ex not being able to pay consistent child support.
True, my ex has not been paying consistent child support. HE stated that in the article....they called him and spoke directly to him. He is a good man at his core, just going through some hard times financially and has made some choices that we are all enduring the consequences of.
We ALL have made choices we have to live with and consequences that go along with those choices...me included.
I was married for 12 years. I NEVER thought we would divorce. I believed it was forever. For reasons I will not mention, we couldn't compromise and divorced.
Keenan came along because of choices I made and then I was faced with another choice.....abortion (as his father brought up as an option) or have this child. It was an easy choice for me.
My focus.....nourishing these kiddos, our earth and eachother. Nourishing with love, attention, organics, time, nature and truly paying attention and being present.
Organic beans and rice (often)....to organic sushi....wheatgrass, yes. Health is a priority and should be available to ALL.
Employment? Yes, I worked during my marriage and after. I enjoy working. It gets me out of the house, I get to speak with adults, the consistent paycheck is needed, I love helping others, etc.
I have the freedom to choose where to have my children in school or to homeschool them. Everyone has that freedom. Having them in a safe environment that allows growth and supports their very being is of utmost importance to me. I only want them to flourish. I can only work and focus outside of the home when I know my kids are in a safe and supportive environment. Period.
It's a hard balance and the choices are not always easy.
I have a history of homeschooling the children. When I was married, that is the choice we made for our family.
This is a choice that came along after we experienced a severe illness (which also inspired eating organic and being more health conscious) with my oldest daughter, who was not mentioned in this article. This was a decision that was made after dealing with her in the public school system. This was a decision that was LEGAL and an option.
Meet Shaylee....yes, yet ANOTHER father. I gave birth to Shaylee when I was 16. What a blessing. She is currently finishing her junior year in college, double majoring, volunteering her time for a non-profit, holding two jobs and changing the world. She gets all the credit for her accomplishments. She is just an amazing being and came into the world with a purpose that she took hold of at a very young age.
I always tell Shaylee that she's my "soul mate." She has been supportive, loving, critical, challenging and simply incredible.
Shaylee is very close to all of her siblings. Her and I are also very close.
The kids are currently enrolled in Boulder Valley Schools, with the exception of Keenan, for the fall. I'm hoping for the best. This wasn't an easy decision. I was hoping for a Waldorf or Montessori option for all of them, but that has not opened up at this time. Yes, financially that wouldn't add up....but why not go for the best for these kiddos. They are worth every ounce of effort.
We all have childhood stories. Mine is not worse than any other. I was raised by a single mother who worked 60-70 hours a week as a fast food manager.
My dad wasn't present for the majority of my childhood. His wife, my step-mom, hated me and my brother. My father and I are very close now. He has admitted to being absent for most of my childhood and apologized. He is my best friend.
My grandmother remembers coming to my house when I was 2 and my brother 3. She said we were alone and I was on the counter searching for food in the cabinets.
Fast food was our nourishment for the majority of our childhood. I was in the hospital on a regular basis for urinary tract infections, kidney problems and one surgery related to the same.
My mother was/is a pharmaceutical addict. You open her cabinet, and there are many prescription bottles. I remember being given medicine on a regular basis as I was growing up.
We moved, on average, every six months to a year. I went to MANY elementary schools and four high schools.
My social security number was used for bills, as was my brother's.
I remember living in one home, and the cops surrounding the home that only held one TV at the time because we had just began to move in. There was no electricity yet and I was about 12 or 13. They were looking for and took my brother and my mother and left me in the home.
My mom still "functions" and loves me in to the best of her ability. I accept her for who she is and my childhood for what it was.
So, my mom worked....but at what cost. She made money and did HER best, but at what cost? What cost to her children?
It takes parents AND a village to raise children. That is what we have LOST sight of in this society.
There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect person or situation.
My kids know love, they know life, they have seen blessings and magic. They are balanced, present and aware. They are critical thinkers and movers.
They know their mom and I am blessed to truly KNOW them. They are nourished, loved and cared for.
We share ALL of this with everyone we come across.
In spite of sequestration, in spite of any negative energy and comments, in spite of any challenges that we face.....my family is blessed. I am more than grateful.
Love to ALL of you.
Jenae Sigg
Val....you spoke my truth. Thank you so much for your words and support. I can only hope to meet you someday. xo
My family has a Source supporting us that is MUCH bigger than the government's funding.
So, to all who believe there isn't an abundance and I am somehow TAKING what is yours, I apologize.
There is more than enough, an abundance even, in this part of the world and I would share with you if there is something I have that you want/need.
I am a firm believer that "everything happens for a reason." This home my family ended up living in that is now foreclosed on, has happened for a reason. Who knows what that happens to be yet, but it wasn't by accident.
The family that lived there and ALLOWED me to move into the garden-level apartment with my family KNEW I was looking for long term. The woman knew me and my background.....she knew me when I was married, knew me throughout some of my pregnancies, knew me when I was going through my divorce, and after. She knew me for about 10 years. Obviously, if she thought I was taking advantage of ALL in the community, she would not have allowed me to move into her home.
She also KNEW she was having marital problems and she knew of her money problems and a few other things. I didn't know this prior to moving in.
Before I moved in, I REITERATED that I was looking for stability. The kids and I had moved enough and we really wanted to stay somewhere LONG TERM.
My biggest concern was that there was six of us living in the apartment below them and I didn't want to disturb them with the noise.
She reassured me all was well and it would work out just fine.
She stopped coming home within THREE weeks of my family moving into the apartment. Obviously, it wasn't something that spontaneously happened and something that she wasn't aware of.
Either way, her "husband" has not left the house. He STILL lives upstairs from me. He was on the DEED of the home and has allowed us to stay. Even if I happened to have found another option for my family, which obviously hasn't happened, the husband STILL lives at the house. I didn't prevent the sale of the house.
I pay the bills, with the help of little child support and my close family and friends. Not an ideal situation and as time passes, change occurs.
I didn't pay rent when I found out NOBODY was paying the MORTGAGE or the bills. This paralleled with my ex not being able to pay consistent child support.
True, my ex has not been paying consistent child support. HE stated that in the article....they called him and spoke directly to him. He is a good man at his core, just going through some hard times financially and has made some choices that we are all enduring the consequences of.
We ALL have made choices we have to live with and consequences that go along with those choices...me included.
I was married for 12 years. I NEVER thought we would divorce. I believed it was forever. For reasons I will not mention, we couldn't compromise and divorced.
Keenan came along because of choices I made and then I was faced with another choice.....abortion (as his father brought up as an option) or have this child. It was an easy choice for me.
My focus.....nourishing these kiddos, our earth and eachother. Nourishing with love, attention, organics, time, nature and truly paying attention and being present.
Organic beans and rice (often)....to organic sushi....wheatgrass, yes. Health is a priority and should be available to ALL.
Employment? Yes, I worked during my marriage and after. I enjoy working. It gets me out of the house, I get to speak with adults, the consistent paycheck is needed, I love helping others, etc.
I have the freedom to choose where to have my children in school or to homeschool them. Everyone has that freedom. Having them in a safe environment that allows growth and supports their very being is of utmost importance to me. I only want them to flourish. I can only work and focus outside of the home when I know my kids are in a safe and supportive environment. Period.
It's a hard balance and the choices are not always easy.
I have a history of homeschooling the children. When I was married, that is the choice we made for our family.
This is a choice that came along after we experienced a severe illness (which also inspired eating organic and being more health conscious) with my oldest daughter, who was not mentioned in this article. This was a decision that was made after dealing with her in the public school system. This was a decision that was LEGAL and an option.
Meet Shaylee....yes, yet ANOTHER father. I gave birth to Shaylee when I was 16. What a blessing. She is currently finishing her junior year in college, double majoring, volunteering her time for a non-profit, holding two jobs and changing the world. She gets all the credit for her accomplishments. She is just an amazing being and came into the world with a purpose that she took hold of at a very young age.
I always tell Shaylee that she's my "soul mate." She has been supportive, loving, critical, challenging and simply incredible.
Shaylee is very close to all of her siblings. Her and I are also very close.
The kids are currently enrolled in Boulder Valley Schools, with the exception of Keenan, for the fall. I'm hoping for the best. This wasn't an easy decision. I was hoping for a Waldorf or Montessori option for all of them, but that has not opened up at this time. Yes, financially that wouldn't add up....but why not go for the best for these kiddos. They are worth every ounce of effort.
We all have childhood stories. Mine is not worse than any other. I was raised by a single mother who worked 60-70 hours a week as a fast food manager.
My dad wasn't present for the majority of my childhood. His wife, my step-mom, hated me and my brother. My father and I are very close now. He has admitted to being absent for most of my childhood and apologized. He is my best friend.
My grandmother remembers coming to my house when I was 2 and my brother 3. She said we were alone and I was on the counter searching for food in the cabinets.
Fast food was our nourishment for the majority of our childhood. I was in the hospital on a regular basis for urinary tract infections, kidney problems and one surgery related to the same.
My mother was/is a pharmaceutical addict. You open her cabinet, and there are many prescription bottles. I remember being given medicine on a regular basis as I was growing up.
We moved, on average, every six months to a year. I went to MANY elementary schools and four high schools.
My social security number was used for bills, as was my brother's.
I remember living in one home, and the cops surrounding the home that only held one TV at the time because we had just began to move in. There was no electricity yet and I was about 12 or 13. They were looking for and took my brother and my mother and left me in the home.
My mom still "functions" and loves me in to the best of her ability. I accept her for who she is and my childhood for what it was.
So, my mom worked....but at what cost. She made money and did HER best, but at what cost? What cost to her children?
It takes parents AND a village to raise children. That is what we have LOST sight of in this society.
There is no perfect parent. There is no perfect person or situation.
My kids know love, they know life, they have seen blessings and magic. They are balanced, present and aware. They are critical thinkers and movers.
They know their mom and I am blessed to truly KNOW them. They are nourished, loved and cared for.
We share ALL of this with everyone we come across.
In spite of sequestration, in spite of any negative energy and comments, in spite of any challenges that we face.....my family is blessed. I am more than grateful.
Love to ALL of you.
Jenae Sigg
Val....you spoke my truth. Thank you so much for your words and support. I can only hope to meet you someday. xo
Friday, April 12, 2013
Stirring it Up!
Wow....a girlfriend of mine was looking for a face to put to her story in the Boulder Weekly. The subject is Sequestration. She asked if it would be okay to have my family be that "face."
Here is the story....
http://www.boulderweekly.com/article-10928-searching-for-a-road-home.html
It's a true story....sad, beautiful, heavy, and real. It has really riled up some opinions in Boulder! Some are pretty harsh. I'm okay with that, though.
I know what kind of mama I am and what kind of person I am. I contribute to this world in many ways and I know my worth.
It's always EASY to judge and those who "know it all" have so many limitations.
Life is amazing and in all of these challenges are SO many blessings.
We were asked what the ONE thing is that we would want people to know about our family....
Tiana (13) said it perfectly....We are happy. We don't want sympathy because our family is truly happy and love is abundant and flows freely.
Can't BUY that! ;)
Here is the story....
http://www.boulderweekly.com/article-10928-searching-for-a-road-home.html
It's a true story....sad, beautiful, heavy, and real. It has really riled up some opinions in Boulder! Some are pretty harsh. I'm okay with that, though.
I know what kind of mama I am and what kind of person I am. I contribute to this world in many ways and I know my worth.
It's always EASY to judge and those who "know it all" have so many limitations.
Life is amazing and in all of these challenges are SO many blessings.
We were asked what the ONE thing is that we would want people to know about our family....
Tiana (13) said it perfectly....We are happy. We don't want sympathy because our family is truly happy and love is abundant and flows freely.
Can't BUY that! ;)
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
I Have Rights! Staying Put!
Just read up on my rights in this foreclosure process...
Renters in Foreclosed Properties No Longer Lose Their Leases
Before President Obama signed the "Protecting Tenants at Foreclosure Act of 2009," most renters lost their leases upon foreclosure. But this legislation provided that leases would survive a foreclosure. The tenant could stay at least until the end of the lease, and month-to-month tenants would be entitled to 90 days' notice before having to move out (this notice period is longer than any state's non-foreclosure notice period, a real boon to tenants).
I have a month-to-month lease!! If I calculated correctly and this information is legit...I will have until July 8th to stay where we're at!! Yay!!
Of course, I will keep my eyes open and continue to work towards a stable, amazing environment for this family.
*exhale* Yay! So grateful!! xoxo
Roots From Germany!!
I was at my father's house after an Easter family gathering at my aunt's....not that I personally celebrate Easter, but family is good anytime of the year.
My dad showed me a family tree, lineage report that had been put together by some of my ancestors. It was amazing!!
My great-grandfather, Julius, and his brother, George, came over to the states from Jestetten, Baden, Germany in 1904. Jestetten sits very close to Switzerland. Switzerland surrounds it from three sides.
My great uncle, George, came to Colorado. He was only 17! My grandparents, from that side, still reside in Colorado today.
What an amazing read! I couldn't put it down. I have asked for a copy and my dad's going to get that for me. It's such an incredible thing to find out part of my heritage.
There was quite a bit of war and sadness in the stories that lead me back to my roots. I'm sure that may be the case in many people's history and ancestry. Sad....but true.
Makes me even MORE grateful for my life and everything in it.
I want to visit Jestetten at some point. It would be such a treat.
Germany....you ready for me!? ;)
My dad showed me a family tree, lineage report that had been put together by some of my ancestors. It was amazing!!
My great-grandfather, Julius, and his brother, George, came over to the states from Jestetten, Baden, Germany in 1904. Jestetten sits very close to Switzerland. Switzerland surrounds it from three sides.
My great uncle, George, came to Colorado. He was only 17! My grandparents, from that side, still reside in Colorado today.
What an amazing read! I couldn't put it down. I have asked for a copy and my dad's going to get that for me. It's such an incredible thing to find out part of my heritage.
There was quite a bit of war and sadness in the stories that lead me back to my roots. I'm sure that may be the case in many people's history and ancestry. Sad....but true.
Makes me even MORE grateful for my life and everything in it.
I want to visit Jestetten at some point. It would be such a treat.
Germany....you ready for me!? ;)
Monday, April 1, 2013
Counting Blessings
Sometimes I forget how many amazing things have happened throughout my life. Reading back through my journals, remembering moments, realizing blessings are abundant!
We're still in the house. I haven't made a decision on the relocation offer. I'm just flowing with it. I have been on-line daily looking for other options and haven't found anything yet. I suppose the right door just hasn't opened yet. Timing is always perfect, so I'm throwing away my cares and keeping my eyes and ears open.
My kids are so beautiful and they remind me by their actions, words and strength how magical the world can be.
Breathin, believin and lovin....freedom. *exhale* xo
We're still in the house. I haven't made a decision on the relocation offer. I'm just flowing with it. I have been on-line daily looking for other options and haven't found anything yet. I suppose the right door just hasn't opened yet. Timing is always perfect, so I'm throwing away my cares and keeping my eyes and ears open.
My kids are so beautiful and they remind me by their actions, words and strength how magical the world can be.
Breathin, believin and lovin....freedom. *exhale* xo
Friday, March 29, 2013
Feeling Like Staying Put
I received a hand delivered letter yesterday from the real estate agent that is heading up our eviction. It is a relocation assistance offer....
The bank will pay me $1700 if I move us out by the sixth of April.....really? Move this family in seven days? That $1700 will go fast and then where will we be? That's your offer?
$900 if I move us out by the 22nd of April.
The girls only have two months left of school....eight weeks. They catch the bus every morning about five blocks from the house.
Let's see....$1700.... ideally, first months rent and deposit for a place to live, moving costs, gas to drive my girls to their bus stop every day if I cannot locate a home in their current school district. Still no child support. A job? Have one....raising my five beautiful kiddos. There is no paycheck, no cash income for that though. If I had a safe place for them all, I would work. I worked during my entire marriage and enjoyed it.
I do have one back up plan....a friend has a two bedroom, garden level apartment in his home. He is trying to fix up and sell the house. It has no well water or city water. He trucks in water and dumps it into a cistern that feeds the house. It would be like camping....not able to take long showers and use tons of water. He called it GI Joe style living. I wouldn't be able to unpack our things, as it would only be a temporary solution. It is down the mountain, farther from my girls school.
Really surrendering at this point. Trying to stay grounded and make the right choices for this amazing family. I knew this day was coming, but never saw another option. I know, in my core, it is all going to work out beautifully. I just have to remind myself of that and keep my head up.
Things to be grateful for....beautiful, healthy kiddos, our time in this amazing sanctuary, organic food at the food banks, an incredible older daughter that is rocking at this thing called life, friends, family and community. So many earth angels and blessings along the way, too.
Not thinking we'll move with that offer. It's more than I have now, but it will go fast. Thinking it over....
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Dearest Fannie Mae Mortgage Company....
You wouldn't know me by name or story. I am just another "case" of foreclosure.... another number. A tenant that has fallen into a situation that unknowingly would cause more instability, when stability was the #1 goal. A family that is being forced to move to an unknown destination.
Yes, I knew this was happening. It was a little late in the game when I found out, but I knew the foreclosure was in process. I have been diligently searching for another opportunity...another rental that would allow a single mother of five (six including my amazing, beautiful girl in college now) to call home. A home we can retreat to that is sacred and special. A place we can finally come home to and KNOW it won't be taken from us....we won't be evicted due to non-payment, we won't have to leave due to foreclosure, we won't have to worry about leaving due to our size or noise level. There won't be some unstable man living upstairs from us. It will be our stable, sanctuary where we can plant roots. A place when the children can grow, be safe, and always know it's their's.
Hard to do when child support is "every now and then." Hard to do when my passion and love in life is raising these beautiful beings, guiding them, nourishing them, feeding their souls as they grow...being a true mother. Hard to balance in this world.
Fine...challenge....I've had my share. I also realize MANY have it much worse than we do. My problems are "first world" in comparison.
I can't give up....not never. ;) Consider me the "Ultimate Mama Warrior."
I can work 60 hours a week and let others raise them? Not for me or this crew. Notice the rest of society? Notice the lack of love, parenting, time, guidance, attention, and focus on our families in this society? What is important....really? Life is but a blink in time...what is important?
Here's the deal, Fannie.... this family has been homeless on three separate occasions now. We have camped it, lived in emergency family housing, stayed with family and friends (for a night at a time, due to our large size), and have had more than our share of days on beans and rice.
These kiddos have seen/felt/experienced alcoholism, have been in unacceptable situations (that have only made them stronger), have had to use critical thinking (thank you, they now are experts), and have learned patience, gained wisdom, struggled with balance, trust and stability. We are learning, growing and challenged with contrast and expansion on a regular basis.
Grateful in so many ways..... but this is no longer acceptable.
Fannie, you own MANY properties....you really need this one? Evicting a single mama of five to gain profit? Not working with my lease because it is a month-to-month....but if it happened to be a year lease, I could have more time?
Maybe you can help me explain to my girls that we have to move before school is over. Two months til school is out and because we don't have a year lease, we have 30 days to move.
Fannie, we just found this school. The old school in the canyon that the girls have been attending for 3 years closed this past year for financial reasons....they lost their only stability besides me. Can't we just finish the school year?
Rules, laws, regulations, guidelines.....you don't know our family? You don't care? There is no room for human"ness?" WHY?
Tiana is 13 now and amazing! She just finished volleyball and had a great season. She has a band performance tomorrow night and will be playing drums.
Jayden? She is 11....almost 12 now. She has a choir performance tonight. She is really excited to sing on stage and will be in her element. This has been a tough year for her. Emotions have ran high....entering a public school for the first time, dealing with her feelings about her father being absent, having a stable home environment. This one is my most sensitive.
Isaiah...he's 9 now. He LOVES skateboarding and is smart as a whip! He has great energy and is fun to be around....quite the character. He has a hard time relating to men in his life. He seems to withdraw when they are around.
Malik is my amazing, energetic, fireball. He is definitely a mountain man and enjoys the outdoors. He also LOVES skateboarding. His challenges are mostly with speech.
Keenan....my little man. This little guy is almost four and my most stubborn. ;) It will serve him as he gets older, I'm sure. What a strength in my life.
Fannie, this is my incredible crew. This is the family that will be moving soon and leaving their only sanctuary. We are always taken care of and I know this will be no different...somehow it ALWAYS works out beautifully.
Just know, this mama is tired. I don't want to move. I don't want these children to have to move AGAIN. These beautiful souls deserve, crave and would thrive with stability.
I know you are hoping for more money, but don't forget the families that are affected....the children that suffer....the parents guilt from the weight of it all. There is room for human"ness" in all of this. Maybe an addendum needs to be created. ;)
Yes, I knew this was happening. It was a little late in the game when I found out, but I knew the foreclosure was in process. I have been diligently searching for another opportunity...another rental that would allow a single mother of five (six including my amazing, beautiful girl in college now) to call home. A home we can retreat to that is sacred and special. A place we can finally come home to and KNOW it won't be taken from us....we won't be evicted due to non-payment, we won't have to leave due to foreclosure, we won't have to worry about leaving due to our size or noise level. There won't be some unstable man living upstairs from us. It will be our stable, sanctuary where we can plant roots. A place when the children can grow, be safe, and always know it's their's.
Hard to do when child support is "every now and then." Hard to do when my passion and love in life is raising these beautiful beings, guiding them, nourishing them, feeding their souls as they grow...being a true mother. Hard to balance in this world.
Fine...challenge....I've had my share. I also realize MANY have it much worse than we do. My problems are "first world" in comparison.
I can't give up....not never. ;) Consider me the "Ultimate Mama Warrior."
I can work 60 hours a week and let others raise them? Not for me or this crew. Notice the rest of society? Notice the lack of love, parenting, time, guidance, attention, and focus on our families in this society? What is important....really? Life is but a blink in time...what is important?
Here's the deal, Fannie.... this family has been homeless on three separate occasions now. We have camped it, lived in emergency family housing, stayed with family and friends (for a night at a time, due to our large size), and have had more than our share of days on beans and rice.
These kiddos have seen/felt/experienced alcoholism, have been in unacceptable situations (that have only made them stronger), have had to use critical thinking (thank you, they now are experts), and have learned patience, gained wisdom, struggled with balance, trust and stability. We are learning, growing and challenged with contrast and expansion on a regular basis.
Grateful in so many ways..... but this is no longer acceptable.
Fannie, you own MANY properties....you really need this one? Evicting a single mama of five to gain profit? Not working with my lease because it is a month-to-month....but if it happened to be a year lease, I could have more time?
Maybe you can help me explain to my girls that we have to move before school is over. Two months til school is out and because we don't have a year lease, we have 30 days to move.
Fannie, we just found this school. The old school in the canyon that the girls have been attending for 3 years closed this past year for financial reasons....they lost their only stability besides me. Can't we just finish the school year?
Rules, laws, regulations, guidelines.....you don't know our family? You don't care? There is no room for human"ness?" WHY?
Tiana is 13 now and amazing! She just finished volleyball and had a great season. She has a band performance tomorrow night and will be playing drums.
Jayden? She is 11....almost 12 now. She has a choir performance tonight. She is really excited to sing on stage and will be in her element. This has been a tough year for her. Emotions have ran high....entering a public school for the first time, dealing with her feelings about her father being absent, having a stable home environment. This one is my most sensitive.
Isaiah...he's 9 now. He LOVES skateboarding and is smart as a whip! He has great energy and is fun to be around....quite the character. He has a hard time relating to men in his life. He seems to withdraw when they are around.
Malik is my amazing, energetic, fireball. He is definitely a mountain man and enjoys the outdoors. He also LOVES skateboarding. His challenges are mostly with speech.
Keenan....my little man. This little guy is almost four and my most stubborn. ;) It will serve him as he gets older, I'm sure. What a strength in my life.
Fannie, this is my incredible crew. This is the family that will be moving soon and leaving their only sanctuary. We are always taken care of and I know this will be no different...somehow it ALWAYS works out beautifully.
Just know, this mama is tired. I don't want to move. I don't want these children to have to move AGAIN. These beautiful souls deserve, crave and would thrive with stability.
I know you are hoping for more money, but don't forget the families that are affected....the children that suffer....the parents guilt from the weight of it all. There is room for human"ness" in all of this. Maybe an addendum needs to be created. ;)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A Week Before the Auction
One week until the home we are currently in is up for auction. My plan? ;) I've been looking, but haven't come upon any opportunities for housing. No worries...apparently we are right where we are supposed to be.
Of course, the kids and I are using this opportunity to see what a foreclosure auction is like. A homeschool trip to the county next week! I've never been, nobody I know has ever been....why not check it out and learn a little something? I don't expect anything specific to happen, just feel like we should go.
The girls are doing well in school and the boys are keeping me busy and on my toes daily while we spend our days together exploring this world of ours. They are curious and full of energy. Malik (6) has been super interested in reading and sounds. He's motivated. We have been playing a LOT of games at home, Connect 4, Life, Uno, etc. All the boys are loving it....me, too! The girls come home and join in as they tell us about their days, their connections, concerns, ideas.
When I moved into this home, my garden level apartment in this big, beautiful mountain home, I was for sure it would be long term. It certainly feels like home to me....my sanctuary. Maybe it will be? Who knows.
Three weeks after I moved in, in June, the wife (that was living upstairs with the husband) left the husband (landlord drama) to move in with her new man and they both stopped paying the mortgage and bills. Blessings in it all though..... I haven't paid rent since August, just paying the bills. That has been perfect for us. My ex has been paying less than and little to no child support these past six months or so. My income? That is my income. Good timing Universe. I am grateful. Thankful for friends, family and earth angels for loving this family and taking better than good care of us.
I would love to work if I could get these boys in an environment that would allow them to grow spiritually, mentally... exponentially! I want to be a mama first, then work part time outside of the family serving amazing, organic food, juice, love to all. That would be my perfect world. We'll see....I have some ideas that I want to focus on and bring to life. Soon! Soon....did ya hear that, Universe?! Please and thank you. xo
Of course, the kids and I are using this opportunity to see what a foreclosure auction is like. A homeschool trip to the county next week! I've never been, nobody I know has ever been....why not check it out and learn a little something? I don't expect anything specific to happen, just feel like we should go.
The girls are doing well in school and the boys are keeping me busy and on my toes daily while we spend our days together exploring this world of ours. They are curious and full of energy. Malik (6) has been super interested in reading and sounds. He's motivated. We have been playing a LOT of games at home, Connect 4, Life, Uno, etc. All the boys are loving it....me, too! The girls come home and join in as they tell us about their days, their connections, concerns, ideas.
When I moved into this home, my garden level apartment in this big, beautiful mountain home, I was for sure it would be long term. It certainly feels like home to me....my sanctuary. Maybe it will be? Who knows.
Three weeks after I moved in, in June, the wife (that was living upstairs with the husband) left the husband (landlord drama) to move in with her new man and they both stopped paying the mortgage and bills. Blessings in it all though..... I haven't paid rent since August, just paying the bills. That has been perfect for us. My ex has been paying less than and little to no child support these past six months or so. My income? That is my income. Good timing Universe. I am grateful. Thankful for friends, family and earth angels for loving this family and taking better than good care of us.
I would love to work if I could get these boys in an environment that would allow them to grow spiritually, mentally... exponentially! I want to be a mama first, then work part time outside of the family serving amazing, organic food, juice, love to all. That would be my perfect world. We'll see....I have some ideas that I want to focus on and bring to life. Soon! Soon....did ya hear that, Universe?! Please and thank you. xo
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