We've been "surviving" for SO long....actually, my whole life has been just that. The kids have also been on that same path, until now.
Now we are in such a sacred, stable, loving, supportive environment... all of our emotions are free to surface. We now have space for that....space, time, and a place for healing. Everyone of us are experiencing intense emotions that are coming up to allow healing of old patterns, behaviors, beliefs, and ways of "survival." Everything from anger, jealousy, sadness, mild illness, and just plain confusion has shown up.
I've been dealing with my own "stuff" and holding space for each one of the kiddos to go through theirs. Just trying to hold sacred space for each one of them, their emotions and healing processes.
I have had to trust and recieve....sounds easy, but whoa. Good news is, I am able to recognize that these "irrational" emotions that are surfacing for me are from my past patterns and behaviors that were created in a time of need and survival. There is no need for them in the space I am currently in.
I guess some of the emotions that I am currently experiencing are a result of the fear I am experiencing. Being scared that I will loose all that we have now. Just waiting for that moment when we will be "surviving" once again....let down again....given up all over again.
I am also learning so much and trying to be easy on myself. I get mad at myself for feeling anything but bliss. Life is so incredible right now. I am sifting through all of these feelings, emotions and insecurities. I'm embracing each one, exploring them and looking for ways to heal and release.
I have never been so in love, so loved and adored, so happy and truly safe. What a difference and so healthy. The kids are also in such a new, safe, secure, loving environment. We are all truly grateful and a bit scared.
Life is still amazing....more amazing than ever.
Breathing and allowing it to be. Healing and progressing...our lives have changed for the better. Adjusting to the newness of it all.
I'm super grateful my man is such an anchor and support. He keeps me grounded and holds me in light.
Truly blessed.
